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Daft Things You Always Do When You’re Drunk


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#1 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 06:23 AM

Listen to U2

Pish in Sinks
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#2 OFFLINE   NEM

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 06:28 AM

Used to have a bad habit of pishing where I shouldn't when I was blootered.  All over my Step Da once while he was asleep in bed.  Took a left turn instead of a right en route to the bog


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#3 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 06:28 AM

I’ve not long woken up and been given my usual charge sheet

Just laughed

At least I haven’t pished myself/on somebody (that quip didn’t go down well)

Edited by Bad_Mobby, 29 May 2020 - 06:36 AM.

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#4 ONLINE   Parklife

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 06:46 AM

Put food in the oven to cook and fall asleep on the couch. Have woken up to a kitchen full of smoke and cremated oven food many a time.
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#5 OFFLINE   Poodler

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 06:53 AM

Send multiple pictures/ videos to the group chat so that everyone thinks I'm mintal when really I'm just an attention seeking brat



Lol at the charge sheet

Edited by Poodler, 29 May 2020 - 06:54 AM.

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#6 ONLINE   manboobs109

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 06:56 AM

Get the dog noised up and fight him. I've ended up wi cuts and that on my hands and arms. Usually end up wi him licking my face and telling him he's like a brother to me. Wife goes mental so I give it 'the dog's the only one in this hoose who's happy to see me, at least he fuckin loves me'
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#7 ONLINE   manboobs109

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 06:59 AM

Put the Prodigy on loud as fuck, pour myself a huge whisky that never gets touched then fall asleep on the settee
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#8 ONLINE   manboobs109

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:05 AM

Buying too much food is a banker as well. Loads of starters, 4 curries and 2 big naans that barely get touched. End up waking about in the middle of the night and munching it. Wake up wi bright red fingers and bits of pakora in my beard wi the missus giving it 'look at the fucking state of you'
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#9 ONLINE   Redforever86

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:08 AM

Put the Prodigy on loud as fuck, pour myself a huge whisky that never gets touched then fall asleep on the settee


Often take a beer to bed with me, open it and immediately fa asleep.
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#10 OFFLINE   Foster14

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:11 AM

If I am away with folk (the ladz) then generally ditching them at some point in the night and going and doing my own thing.

 

Back when I lived in Aberdeen, I used to wander to a grassy area or the beach and wait for sun rise.  Often slept on a park bench on the Mounthooly roundabout rather than go to my bed 1 minute away on Nelson Street.  


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#11 ONLINE   manboobs109

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:13 AM

Usually pretend I've no got a hangover the next day as well. Insist I'm OK and volunteer to take the bairn somewhere knowing the missus won't let me drive so she has to take him and I can get a kip on the settee.
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#12 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:18 AM

Get the dog noised up and fight him. I've ended up wi cuts and that on my hands and arms. Usually end up wi him licking my face and telling him he's like a brother to me. Wife goes mental so I give it 'the dog's the only one in this hoose who's happy to see me, at least he fuckin loves me'


Messing with the dog and speaking to her like a piece of shit (after her telling me to turn down (and me refusing) the music) are also issues this morning

Fucking stupid women

It’s going to be a long day
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#13 OFFLINE   NEM

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:25 AM

I’ve not long woken up and been given my usual charge sheet

Just laughed

At least I haven’t pished myself/on somebody (that quip didn’t go down well)

 

 

lol

 

The mrs caught me sitting on the bin in the kitchen doing the bog once and told me next day to go clean it up.  Can imagine my delight finding it was only full of pish 


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#14 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:38 AM

I’ve been found sleeping in the communal stairs, blood and pish everywhere - no issues

Yet, it’s bloody U2 that has caused a rift

She’s not long walked out and slammed the door behind her (because I am not backing down/telling her I did nothing wrong)

Told her to fuck off back to Aberdeen if she hates Bono and the ladz that much
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#15 OFFLINE   The Boofon

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:41 AM

I’ve been found sleeping in the communal stairs, blood and pish everywhere - no issues

Yet, it’s bloody U2 that has caused a rift

She’s not long walked out and slammed the door behind her (because I am not backing down/telling her I did nothing wrong)

Told her to fuck off back to Aberdeen if she hates Bono and the ladz that much

 

 

You must be sober now before you're calling him Bono.

 

Normally Bonio when you're away with it.


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#16 OFFLINE   Sooper-hanz

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:41 AM

Get the dog noised up and fight him. I've ended up wi cuts and that on my hands and arms. Usually end up wi him licking my face and telling him he's like a brother to me. Wife goes mental so I give it 'the dog's the only one in this hoose who's happy to see me, at least he fuckin loves me'


5-B6708-C2-60-A2-4-F1-E-AC9-C-E847-A166-
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limericks etc..,


#17 ONLINE   Henry

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:42 AM

Buy her some flowers and a tray of Dairy Milk Mobby min.
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#18 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:45 AM

Buy her some flowers and a tray of Dairy Milk Mobby min.


An hour to cool down and have a word with herself

Is all she’s getting
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#19 OFFLINE   daytripping

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 08:14 AM

I'm bad for speaking shite on facebook and texting multiple girls utter shite, knob pics a fave. Have that cringe feeling soon as I wake, don't even look at my phone or open facebook. Know I've left a trail of carnage. Used to always get in fights at boozers as well, was never my fault in my head but looking back no one could be that unlucky.


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#20 OFFLINE   chief_wiggum

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 08:16 AM

I’ve been found sleeping in the communal stairs, blood and pish everywhere - no issues

Yet, it’s bloody U2 that has caused a rift

She’s not long walked out and slammed the door behind her (because I am not backing down/telling her I did nothing wrong)

Told her to fuck off back to Aberdeen if she hates Bono and the ladz that much

Did you explain that it is imperative that Zoo Station is played at full pelt!


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#21 OFFLINE   Poodler

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 08:18 AM

Playing the sweetest thing 40 times in a row would irk anyone
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#22 OFFLINE   cheesepipes

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 08:24 AM

If ive a pair of trainers that require actual physical involvement more than kicking them off ill wake up in the morning with my trainers still on and trousers and underpants at my ankles.


Had a pair of tricky Jordans that required the laces undone, had them on one winter night out.

Woke up around 9am, hungover sweating like the proverbial rapist.

Boots on, pants at the ankles, large jacket fully zipped up still on.
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#23 ONLINE   ebbe

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 08:29 AM

Send multiple pictures/ videos to the group chat so that everyone thinks I'm mintal when really I'm just an attention seeking brat
Lol at the charge sheet


I’d never dream of that sort of nonsense.....
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#24 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 08:42 AM

Did you explain that it is imperative that Zoo Station is played at full pelt!


Haha

Was Zoo TV live in Sydney I was perusing (after watching Brian Eno talk about The Joshua Tree for an hour)
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#25 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 08:47 AM

I'm bad for speaking shite on facebook and texting multiple girls utter shite, knob pics a fave. Have that cringe feeling soon as I wake, don't even look at my phone or open facebook. Know I've left a trail of carnage. Used to always get in fights at boozers as well, was never my fault in my head but looking back no one could be that unlucky.


I came off facers as only a very select few were getting my nonsense

The final straw was when an acquaintance had a real pop at me for saying zika babies were actually cuter than normal babies (Which they are) so what’s all the fuss about?

I thought I might not be hitting the correct targets

Got lots of likes, though
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#26 ONLINE   Bad_Mobby

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 08:53 AM

Playing the sweetest thing 40 times in a row would irk anyone


The ladz up until 93 could be my Mastermind subject
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#27 OFFLINE   chief_wiggum

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 09:01 AM

Haha

Was Zoo TV live in Sydney I was perusing (after watching Brian Eno talk about The Joshua Tree for an hour)

Good shout, I think I will give this a go the night after a few scoofs and the wife has pissed off. (U2 Go Home is my usual go to)


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#28 OFFLINE   cheesepipes

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 09:03 AM

I came off facers as only a very select few were getting my nonsense
The final straw was when an acquaintance had a real pop at me for saying zika babies were actually cuter than normal babies (Which they are) so what’s all the fuss about?
I thought I might not be hitting the correct targets
Got lots of likes, though


My daughter put a light hearted poof joke on the facers a few years ago and stirred up a hornets nest.

She just laughed.

Proud father moment.
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#29 OFFLINE   Captain Caveman

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 09:06 AM

When really pished my go to remains sleeping wrapped round the toilet bowl. It’s like a comfort blanket. Nae good when your kids wake you up and your wrapped round the pot
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#30 OFFLINE   daytripping

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 09:15 AM

My daughter put a light hearted poof joke on the facers a few years ago and stirred up a hornets nest.

She just laughed.

Proud father moment.

 

I put up a joke comment about selling my dog for dog baiting purposes, it went viral, got a call from a mate saying I was all over facers, had the animal loving brigade try to track me down, hundreds of threatening messages. One girl said she was getting on a train in Newcastle and was coming to save my dog, little leon didn't have a clue, lol My daughter and her pals thought it was hilarious.  


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