Poems For Players.

[The Boofon]

Would a rake not just puncture the massive appendage rather than sever it?

No. Do you know what a rake looks like?

 

It’s got a solid bar with spikes coming off it.

 

Puncture on impact but hard enough for bar to chop on follow through.

[Fridge]

Davie Dodds was one hell of a fella

Had the face of a women repeller

Scored loads of goals

Had the face of Mrs Mols

And loved a pint of Stella.

 

Fuck the Huns.

[Fridge]

Ryan Jack is a dirty rat

He looks like a fucking Twat

Is known as a chancer

Hope he gets cancer

And I’ll take him out with a baseball bat

 

Fuck the Huns

[Ten Caat]

Greg Stewart will explode like a rocket

Said Dad...the League's ours, we will walk it

He made T-shirts to sell

No cunt bought een..fkn hell

The aul' bastard's now a grand outta pocket

 

Hoo Mama

[The Boofon]

No chance. The rake is used because it rhymes with snake. It wouldn't sever the penis . " Fuck there's a venomous snake in the garden, quick, get the rake!"

Nobody said it happened in the garden. Or she thought she’d seen a venomous snake. You’re just making stuff up to be a prick.

[ddia]

We've not had a lot of muslims, it has to be said

 

Adnan Ahmed and Rached Belabed

 

But reading the Qur'an is the greatest delight

 

We should try to praise Allah by day and by night.

[Fridge]

At Pittodrie once Durrant dived

It’s a shame he actually survived

An innocent challenge hurt his knee

The Physio collie bagged him off - fuck me

All the rest in the media is contrived.

[Poodler]

What's the difference between a poem and a limerick?

[Guest the shepherd]

His name was Fernando

Went the way of Jill Dando

He was out of luck

Not one Aberdeen fan gave a fuck

 

There’s a game next week

Where we are not supposed to speak

In a place where we detest

And might face arrest

 

Fuck the Huns.

10/10, very rhythmical and elegant. Well done sir, take a bow

[Guest the shepherd]

What's the difference between a poem and a limerick?

A poem can have an infinite amount of lines, whilst a limerick only has five lines.

[Poodler]

Five lines? Wimps

[Poodler]

Athletic man of ill repute

Often seen in his work tracksuit

Crumbling marriage, mucking about

GWT wants him out

[The Boofon]

Athletic man of ill repute

Often seen in his work tracksuit

Crumbling marriage, mucking about

GWT wants him out

 

Hahaha.

 

@@Big Hat Logan

[Fridge]

When will we sign a left back

A midfield we seem to lack

Derek must know

It may be time to go

Unless he tells players to actually attack

[aberdeen1970]

It is as I feared.

We've won fuck all since the cunt grew that beard

[Yorston Vasey]

It is as I feared.

We've won fuck all since the cunt grew that beard

Loved Ziggy Stardust and the Beardspiders from Mars

[Fridge]

We once had a player called Maynard

Couldn’t score one fucking goal which Is hard

He was ripping the piss

With every sitter he did miss

Should have been shot and buried in Nat Fraser’s backyard

[Poodler]

We were better

With no blacks

The fitba these days

Causes heart attacks

[aberdeen1970]

We were better

With no blacks

The fitba these days

Causes heart attacks

We're more athletic

Yet our form's pathetic

[Fridge]

The Wilson show is what we wish

To prove we’re not pish

Or at least try to attack

And not all sit back

If not Derek is getting a smack in the dish

[Poodler]

^haha

 

 

 

 

Billy Dodds

Tup said Fuck the Mods

The ground hosted hot rod

Mcinnes got the nod

And signed too many athletics

[Ramandu]

Darren Mackie

Wasn't born an Iraqi.

It might have been better for Aberdeen

If he had been.

[Ramandu]

Mark McGhee

Had one simple plea.

Said with poise and grace:

Get that camera out of my face.

[Fridge]

 

Simmie @dailyrecord we know

You went in a bit slow

Should have taken him on the head

And he might now be dead

 

We’ve now had the fate

Of 30 years of hate

His knee condition may have been tragic

But the Ibrox disaster was magic

 

Fuck the Huns.

[Ramandu]

Craig Brown

Kept us from going down.

Now he makes a rota

To stop us going over his quota.

[Torry Tosser]

Deek please go and sign on the dole.

If not you'll end up in a 6ft hole.

[Torry Tosser]

There once was a loon from Torry.

Ernie Winchester was his name.

He wasn't the greatest of players,but by fuck he was hellava game.

He once ran from the centre spot and lashed it in the Rangers net.

And ran behind the goal to their fucking fans,shouting fuck you huns I've won my bet.

[S2RDS]

We love a good whining

about most of Dereks shite signings

so when he signs Main as a scorer

and pisses off every supporter

he should be surely get a right good hiding

[Ramandu]

Alex Ferguson

Used to be a hun

But he's been purified

And they died.

[Poodler]

Jerel Ifil

Put to landfill

As mobile as an MND man

Looks like we're doing a steely Dan

Reelin back the years

Hopefully the players go out for beers

And get their heads kicked in.