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StandFree1982

Pet Hates

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11 hours ago, chief_wiggum said:

Cunts (a lot of them Audi drivers) driving down to the Haudagain roundabout in the lane that's closed off hoping some sucker will let them in at the bottom of the hill as it goes into one lane, I'd let someone in if it was further up where the signs first show the lane is closed but the chancers going all the way to the bottom , need pulled out of their cars and given a swift kick in the knackers!

Taxi I was in did that earlier this week. I tutted quietly.

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21 hours ago, manboobs109 said:

SR I genuinely got the question in my theory test about what to do and the answer was "use all available road space and merge in turn" so that's what I do.

The signs say "Lane closed 800 yards" or whatever so why does everyone effectively close them early by not using the 800 yards? If everyone did it right no one would be able to queue jump.

Edit - in the road rage thing I mentioned a bike copper got involved and threatened to fine the guy for blocking me and told me to carry on.

Trouble is thats a law written for south of the border (Stonehaven) cunts that are incapable of queueing.  99 times out 100 in the north east just get in the fucking line and dont be a wank about it.  There is only a queue in the inside lane precisely because of said jumpers.

A variation on this is the new dualler heading north down to the new Forth Crossing where the dual leads on to the bridge. There's a lane goes off to the left takes you up to a roundabout flyover affair if you were cutting off to Linlithgow or some such.  Plenty peel off, miraculously missing the entire bridge queue, straight over the roundabout and down the other side back into the bridge traffic.  Hunnish behaviour.  To be watched.  

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46 minutes ago, strachanmcgheegoal said:

Trouble is thats a law written for south of the border (Stonehaven) cunts that are incapable of queueing.  99 times out 100 in the north east just get in the fucking line and dont be a wank about it.  There is only a queue in the inside lane precisely because of said jumpers.

A variation on this is the new dualler heading north down to the new Forth Crossing where the dual leads on to the bridge. There's a lane goes off to the left takes you up to a roundabout flyover affair if you were cutting off to Linlithgow or some such.  Plenty peel off, miraculously missing the entire bridge queue, straight over the roundabout and down the other side back into the bridge traffic.  Hunnish behaviour.  To be watched.  

When my mate was driving us hame fae Aberdeen Uni to Bod down St Machar drive, he'd skip the queue in the left hand lane, and go right around the round about to turn left skipping the queue.

Got us to the pub quicker. 

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manboobs is correct here.

If every cunt was daft enough to use the one lane only if the other was closing in say 800 yards you’d get nowhere.

Cunts should learn how to drive.Of course, you get the boy racer idiots and Audi drivers attempting to break the sound barrier to get ahead of the queue that makes everyone else using both lanes look a cunt.

“Where traffic is queuing and moving slowly you should use all available road space in both lanes with drivers at the front of the queues taking it in turns to 'merge in turn' or 'zip merge' as the Americans call it. This can help reduce the overall length of the queue significantly and minimises the risk of disruption at junctions further back up the road.”

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36 minutes ago, YorkDon said:

manboobs is correct here.

If every cunt was daft enough to use the one lane only if the other was closing in say 800 yards you’d get nowhere.

Cunts should learn how to drive.Of course, you get the boy racer idiots and Audi drivers attempting to break the sound barrier to get ahead of the queue that makes everyone else using both lanes look a cunt.

“Where traffic is queuing and moving slowly you should use all available road space in both lanes with drivers at the front of the queues taking it in turns to 'merge in turn' or 'zip merge' as the Americans call it. This can help reduce the overall length of the queue significantly and minimises the risk of disruption at junctions further back up the road.”

Exactly this. 

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2 hours ago, YorkDon said:

manboobs is correct here.

If every cunt was daft enough to use the one lane only if the other was closing in say 800 yards you’d get nowhere.

Cunts should learn how to drive.Of course, you get the boy racer idiots and Audi drivers attempting to break the sound barrier to get ahead of the queue that makes everyone else using both lanes look a cunt.

“Where traffic is queuing and moving slowly you should use all available road space in both lanes with drivers at the front of the queues taking it in turns to 'merge in turn' or 'zip merge' as the Americans call it. This can help reduce the overall length of the queue significantly and minimises the risk of disruption at junctions further back up the road.”

Not for roadworks though. 

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On 12/3/2021 at 6:09 PM, strachanmcgheegoal said:

Trouble is thats a law written for south of the border (Stonehaven) cunts that are incapable of queueing.  99 times out 100 in the north east just get in the fucking line and dont be a wank about it.  There is only a queue in the inside lane precisely because of said jumpers.

A variation on this is the new dualler heading north down to the new Forth Crossing where the dual leads on to the bridge. There's a lane goes off to the left takes you up to a roundabout flyover affair if you were cutting off to Linlithgow or some such.  Plenty peel off, miraculously missing the entire bridge queue, straight over the roundabout and down the other side back into the bridge traffic.  Hunnish behaviour.  To be watched.  

To be fair that’s a great wee cheat. 
 

Roundabout at the South end of North Anderson drive was another snafu before the bypass. Loads of folk in left lane waiting to go straight ahead. Nip down the right lane, right round the roundabout and away you go. 
 

The dibble eventually sussed this and used to be there watching for folk doing the 360 but there’s fuck all doing wrong with it. 

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3 minutes ago, The Boofon said:

To be fair that’s a great wee cheat. 
 

Roundabout at the South end of North Anderson drive was another snafu before the bypass. Loads of folk in left lane waiting to go straight ahead. Nip down the right lane, right round the roundabout and away you go. 
 

The dibble eventually sussed this and used to be there watching for folk doing the 360 but there’s fuck all doing wrong with it. 

It's not a 360, more like a 450 or 540.

That right round the roundabout has never occurred to me before. I'm doing it from now on.

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31 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

page 36. 

I’m not checking if you’ve made that up.

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4 minutes ago, YorkDon said:

I’m not checking if you’ve made that up.

65181-B54-6387-479-A-8170-2-F0-C4746246-
 

liar wee bastard 😂😂😂

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5 minutes ago, YorkDon said:

Seems legit…

Nope. The correct procedure is to stay as close to the car in front, turn, make eye contact and grin. A little wave is optional.

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42 minutes ago, Ramandu said:

Nope. The correct procedure is to stay as close to the car in front, turn, make eye contact and grin. A little wave is optional.

 I agree but there is the humiliating risk of hitting the car in front. 

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Gerry Cinnamon 

music for complete spastics

As much as I go on about oasis, at least they said something. 
 

GC is awful. AWFUL

  • Upvote 1

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3 minutes ago, Poodler said:

Gerry Cinnamon 

music for complete spastics

As much as I go on about oasis, at least they said something. 
 

GC is awful. AWFUL

Playing Hampden supported by Travis and Jake Bugg (how embarrassing for them?) 

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Officious folk in emigration going deliberately slowly when you're in a rush.

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Enjoy Wick ya cunt, there’s not a mosque, you can’t get Halal meat and its a fucking shithole in the middle of nowhere.

Edited by Ohjimmyjimmy

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3 hours ago, Poodler said:

Gerry Cinnamon 

music for complete spastics

As much as I go on about oasis, at least they said something. 
 

GC is awful. AWFUL

He's got a good voice.

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1 hour ago, manboobs109 said:

He's got a good voice.

You might be a good poster but stay in your lane, music ain’t yours 

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5 hours ago, Poodler said:

Gerry Cinnamon 

music for complete spastics

As much as I go on about oasis, at least they said something. 
 

GC is awful. AWFUL

Hes a belter 

 

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11 hours ago, dazzy_deff said:

Hes a belter 

 

:nono:  fucking criminal that song

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