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Telly Programmes That Haven't Been Made Yet

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He wasn't kidnapped. He ended up in a mental hospital.

Let out for good behaviour

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Prison Big Break

 

Jim Davidson and John Virgo present a snooker based quiz show where JD does a brief (usually un-PC and racist) stand up routine before introducing the contestants........3 pairs of jailbirds.

 

The criminal teams are then allocated a real snooker player/athlete, such as Parrot, Davis, Thorburn, and Drago to help them accumulate enough points through their snooker skills and general knowledge questions

 

It didn’t last past the pilot episode where Davidson took a pool cue up the arse and Parrot was smashed in the gob with a brown ball in a sock

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Garbage Hunters

 

Tups still raking through what he thinks is Johnny Hayes bins. Due to his undeserved banning from the hat he didn’t know Hayes left yonks ago and his house is now rented out to a family of athletic gentlemen who violently gang rape him for his troubles.

 

Tune in next week to see if Tup does some ATM

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Steptoe and Hun

 

Durrant has his toe stepped on by a fair challenge and goes down like a sack of tatties.

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Bananas in Pyjama’s

 

Remake of the tv series where members of the hat go banana’s over whether it is acceptable to wear PJ’s or not and have a massive scrap.

 

On after the watershed due to some naked middle aged men throwing punches against folk in dressing gowns and slippers.

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Bananas in Pyjama’s

Remake of the tv series where members of the hat go banana’s over whether it is acceptable to wear PJ’s or not and have a massive scrap.

On after the watershed due to some naked middle aged men throwing punches against folk in dressing gowns and slippers.

And a ginger freak in a kimono

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T-Bag

 

Outrageous late night remake of the classic kids programme.

 

Cheesepipes features as the lead dipping his balls into hookers mouths and gets the nickname T-Bag.

 

Kelt is his assistant T-shirt paying slave wages to kids to make garments depicting horrendous incidents involving Huns.

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-Bag

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The Naked Chef

 

Nigella Lawson, fully naked shows members of the Hat how to cook stovies properly.

 

I’m just watching.

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The Naked Chef

 

Nigella Lawson, fully naked shows members of the Hat how to cook stovies properly.

 

I’m just watching.

Nigella Lawson - Absolute fox and cocaine abuser. What a ride that would be.

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Nigella Lawson - Absolute fox and cocaine abuser. What a ride that would be.

Making patterns in the flour with her nipples ©cheesepipes

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Making patterns in the flour with her nipples ©cheesepipes

Was that the straw that broke the camel's back for LGIR!?

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Was that the straw that broke the camel's back for LGIR!?

 

I thought it was after Daytripping's somewhat savage post that she disappeared. 

 

Seems like there might have been a story there. 

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The Hairy Bikers

 

Bluts takes tourists cycling round Netherlands showing the bars they have.

 

Everything after 7pm is complete fiction and edited in by the producer

 

He’s asleep while they head immediately for hookers

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Was that the straw that broke the camel's back for LGIR!?

I suspect the less than complimentary remarks about the wimmins WC and wimmins football generally might have had something to do with it, as well as Dayts rather personal abuse. It was the perfect storm.

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Moist Her Mound.......quiz show where contestants get to pound their specialist subject.....they’ve started so they’ll finish

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I suspect the less than complimentary remarks about the wimmins WC and wimmins football generally might have had something to do with it, as well as Dayts rather personal abuse. It was the perfect storm.

I can't remember Dayts comments. Pipes' descriptive prose was up there with the best erotica novel.

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Goodwillie Hunting

 

A spin off tv series from the film following the above mentioned out and about in various city centres being a sexual predator.

 

Guest appearance from Ched Evans

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Levein On A Jet Plane

 

Craig Levein stars in a new "Idiot Abroad" style show where he travels the world doing different challenges, which he ultimately never wins.

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I can't remember Dayts comments. Pipes' descriptive prose was up there with the best erotica novel.

 

Whose erotic writing would you compare it to Buzz? 

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Whose erotic writing would you compare it to Buzz?

Has to be up there with your best Mills & Boon book.

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Beadles About Kids

 

Archived BBC footage showing the prankster actually was a raging sex fiend like it seems everybody on tv and radio was in the 80s.

 

Majority of footage involves him dressed as a woman or traffic warden and trying to prey on kids.

 

 

 

Genuinely always wondered what would happen if he hilariously towed your car away, rang your doorbell and you melted him. Surely he should also get charged.

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