perthshirered Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Had a couple of Hamiltons at my door twice today moaning my cat has shit on their lawn, I debated that it could have been any cat but caught bang to rights on cctv, I went and picked it up, they then came back and knocked again and asked what I planned to do to stop it happening again. Lost my patience then, after they tried telling me cats could be taught where to shit I closed the door on them and words were exchanged. Any tips on training an 11 year old outside cat who on good days looks at everyone like they're a piece of shit? I say impossible. Phone the polis and accuse them of using the cctv to spy on bairns walking on the pavements. Probably totally innocent but inconvenient and embarrassing for them nonetheless. A whisper in the right ear and you could have a baying mob of vigilantes camped outside their driveway. Everyones a winner and your cat will be free to roam and empty its guts wherever he/she pleases. Link to comment
Sooper-hanz Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 I like both feline and canine mammals, but don't choose to share my home with them. My experience of many people's homes who own dogs is that they often have a strong, offensive aroma. Usually those with larger dogs. I have also heard people declare that they chose a short haired beast to limit the smell in their house - when visiting their abodes invariably reek like Barbara Woodhouse's jim-jams.To summarise, if you own a dog your house stinks. You just don't notice it, everyone else does.I agree . Foul smell. Usually down to the owners having no domestic cleaning regime and poor personal hygiene as well . Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 I like both feline and canine mammals, but don't choose to share my home with them. My experience of many people's homes who own dogs is that they often have a strong, offensive aroma. Usually those with larger dogs. I have also heard people declare that they chose a short haired beast to limit the smell in their house - when visiting their abodes invariably reek like Barbara Woodhouse's jim-jams.To summarise, if you own a dog your house stinks. You just don't notice it, everyone else does.If you don't notice it why give a fuck about it? The benefits of having a dog far outweigh some knobber like you thinking your house smells. Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 I agree . Foul smell. Usually down to the owners having no domestic cleaning regime and poor personal hygiene as well .Havers. Houses with dogs smell like dog because a dog lives there. Link to comment
Sooper-hanz Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Havers. Houses with dogs smell like dog because a dog lives there.Wrong . Not all dog houses smell. Just the ones with mink owners . Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Wrong . Not all dog houses smell. Just the ones with mink owners .I believe the statement you agreed with was 'If you own a dog your house stinks' but now you disagree. Make your mind up. Link to comment
Sooper-hanz Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 I believe the statement you agreed with was 'If you own a dog your house stinks' but now you disagree. Make your mind up.It's cool moobs. To be honest I dont really give a fuck either way . Each to their own . Peace brother . Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 It's cool moobs. To be honest I dont really give a fuck either way . Each to their own . Peace brother .Fair doo's man. I'm being a cunt. Apologies. You're one of the good cunts on here. Link to comment
Henry Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 ^^ Pair of poofters IMO Link to comment
manboobs109 Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 ^^ Pair of poofters IMOFuck you hooverface. Are you good at lifting dog hairs? Link to comment
HairyPie Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 Moobs' house is stinky. Link to comment
BWG Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Cats and dogs are fantastic; I understand people dont like them - but to me, these folk are talking shite. I've always recognised an uncanny knack within cats and dogs to recognise evil within a person - which is generally met with growling/hissing/scratching/biting - a shocking moment at the time; but believe me - when that prick is being jailed for molesting a donkey or whatever - you soon side with the wee puss puss or doggy. Can tell you without doubt that Blutos hombre deserved every scratch he received (like you all didnt know). Dayts - these cunts are just looking for a pot to stir; quite literally the best way to deal with it, is by doing absolutely nothing. Listen to what they say, say ok, then go about your day. Repeat these steps when they re-occur. Then film the cunt doing whatever damage/mischief he will eventually do. Upload the video to twitter.com/pigs, and hey presto - sorted. Absolutely. Our cat attacked one of Mrs BWGs mates' lads, which aroused my suspicion and indicated that he was probably a paedophile. As it turned out the truth was much worse, he was actually a hun. I immediately ejected him from the household and gave the cat a biscuit treat. He celebrated by licking his own arsehole for about half an hour and then went to sleep. Good boy. 7 Link to comment
ollie1903 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Absolutely. Our cat attacked one of Mrs BWGs mates' lads, which aroused my suspicion and indicated that he was probably a paedophile. As it turned out the truth was much worse, he was actually a hun. I immediately ejected him from the household and gave the cat a biscuit treat. He celebrated by licking his own arsehole for about half an hour and then went to sleep. Good boy.Haha, love it Link to comment
Sooper-hanz Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Absolutely. Our cat attacked one of Mrs BWGs mates' lads, which aroused my suspicion and indicated that he was probably a paedophile. As it turned out the truth was much worse, he was actually a hun. I immediately ejected him from the household and gave the cat a biscuit treat. He celebrated by licking his own arsehole for about half an hour and then went to sleep. Good boy. Raises an interesting point. If you knew you were flexible enough to lick your own arsehole would you? Link to comment
spamspamspam Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Raises an interesting point. If you knew you were flexible enough to lick your own arsehole would you? Doubtful. I'd be too busy sucking my cock. Link to comment
alscotoz Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 The best is when you have a wee puss puss and a wee doggy and theyre best buddies - sleeping next to each other, licking each others faces, play fighting - all those things you regularly see on youtube/imgur/instagram and all those places. They'd be traitors to their species. Link to comment
Reed or deed Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Cats are antisocial bastards. Link to comment
rumpus Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 My daughter's homework once consisted of fwriting a poem about their pet. Which was a cat. They had to read it out in front of the class.. She'd written this get long poem about Puff but I took the paper from her bag and replaced it with my own poem, as follows; Cats are cool cats are nice,They don't like birds and they don't like miceThey sleep all day and half of the nightThe only time they go out when's they're needing a shite. She didn't see the funny side, I did. Link to comment
Sooper-hanz Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 ^^^ made me laugh . Link to comment
King Street Loon Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 To quote @@heppy.Dogs nae cats. Link to comment
alscotoz Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 Cats are shite. End of. Link to comment
The Village Seagull Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 The Village Seagull is partial to a bit of pussy. Link to comment
Poodler Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 free image upload site and link My best pal and absolute Proper Gent. @@CrazyBullSheep mon en Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 free image upload site and link My best pal and absolute Proper Gent. @@CrazyBullSheep mon en^^loser. The cat is just using you. Link to comment
Poodler Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 We're all being used Bri You're paying off someone else's mortgage, per example Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 We're all being used Bri You're paying off someone else's mortgage, per exampleFake news my friend. Got our own pad now. Link to comment
Chewie37 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 We're all being used BriYou're paying off someone else's mortgage, per example Fake news my friend. Got our own pad now.Paying off your husbands mortgage, so when you get divorced, he's alright Link to comment
BrianFaePerth Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Paying off your husbands mortgage, so when you get divorced, he's alrightThis is a thread about cats, not your problems. 1 Link to comment
Poodler Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 This is a thread about cats, not your problems.Haha Link to comment
Poodler Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Would you shag this cat? Done worse tbh Famous animals that you'd shag A thread for the 1000 club Link to comment
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