Your favourite hotel stories

[johnstrac]

I was in the little French village of Massat when I went in the bar for a beer, when I ordered the barman asked if I was english, "Non, je suis Ecossais". At this stage he swapped the glass he was pouring for a replacement, I can only assume he'd spat in the first one.

[Simply Red]

I got started on by a paraletic alky old french guy in a bar in downtown Pointe Noir/Congo just by asking him who was playing in the fitba match on the tv behind the bar. He went nuts, started shouting and spitting on the floor and muttering what i could only assume was anglais/Brittanique cunt. I glassed him and left.

 

 

 

 

(no i just left)

[strachanmcgheegoal]

Maybe you’d stayed in his room upstairs and pished on his floor?

[Simply Red]

Pretty sure the frogs think we’re fucking ace. They love all the cliched stuff (bagpipes/men in skirts/smackheads/violent) and the fact we historically dont like the guffs.

If you pished on their floor they’d probably thank you and put in a cheese or something. Manky, smelly gits. 

[Redforever86]

I don't like the French. 

[johnstrac]

4 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Or the first glass was clean and he's spat in the second one. 

I'd hadn't thought of that until today and it was 19 years ago.

Also, didn't realise I'd started quite the discussion.

[Fridge]

Best one is still Hanzoid tracking down Blutz 

[Don Fonte]

1 hour ago, Fridge said:

Best one is still Hanzoid tracking down Blutz 

Blutzarella's photos have certainly dipped in output the last couple years.

[Fridge]

Maybe on the run

[Bluto10]

1 hour ago, Don Fonte said:

Blutzarella's photos have certainly dipped in output the last couple years.

go through phases when I can be arsed.

ill get back on it, just for you champ

 

6 minutes ago, Captain Caveman said:

Clock gate and the imaginary crew ruined him

what’s clock gate chief?

[Don Fonte]

8 minutes ago, Bluto10 said:

go through phases when I can be arsed.

ill get back on it, just for you champ

 

what’s clock gate chief?

Appreciated. Need clarification on your/RS watch also.

[Bluto10]

what clarification is required, squire?

[DD1903]

14 hours ago, Bluto10 said:

go through phases when I can be arsed.

ill get back on it, just for you champ

 

what’s clock gate chief?

I think it's time you posted a 'live' picture, with a clock in the background, but the time in the clock and your 'live' post were hours apart. 

[Bluto10]

3 hours ago, DD1903 said:

I think it's time you posted a 'live' picture, with a clock in the background, but the time in the clock and your 'live' post were hours apart. 

 

it’s like that’s every couple of weeks Chief.

[Don Fonte]

On 10/10/2020 at 8:10 PM, Bluto10 said:

what clarification is required, squire?

Are they the same watch?

[Bluto10]

no. the one RS has is his.

mine are mine. 
 

not the same

[Arabian Knight]

pipe doon noo ir thirl b hell tae piy..ehm richt in the mid fir diggin beck inta yer plentifil history o lies n cover ups..yer erse fell oot n its lookin affa liket yer tryin tae tuck it back up fir posterity

ehl fix that

[Bluto10]

hi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

bye

[Redforever86]

That was a good one. 

[Clydeside_Sheep]

In a couple of yrs it will be the 20th anniversary of my first trip with friend(s) to Amsterdam.  I am hoping to arrange a suitable commemoration visit.

The first time was in the cold, dark december of 2002.  We stayed in a (still extant, different name) hotel just off leidseplein sq.  Great location but we barely made it more than a few 100 yards from the hotel at any point, due to being generally very stoned.

One morning we tried to find Vondelpark but set off in the wrong direction, quickly got fed up and decided to have a smoke on a canal bridge, maybe 3 blocks from the hotel. We soon realised that was an error and were forced to retire immediately to our room.  We walked back very slowly, with great determination.  One entering the hotel , a guy stuck his head out of the office, expressing surprise we had returned so soon and my mate managed to mumble something at him. 

We then crawled up the steep stairs for safety, me howling with laughter the whole way.  My mate turned around and said "Shut up! I think I spoke to the guy there", I thought I was going to piss myself laughing.

So that morning was instead spent esconced in our room, lying on our respective beds - in total silence - and watching a B&W movie on Dutch TV "The man who never was" (1956).  A war movie about deception, it was hugely engrossing in our state and the B&W picture and period dutch hotel room features added great atmosphere.

That's my rock and roll hotel story ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[maryhilldon]

1 hour ago, Clydeside_Sheep said:

In a couple of yrs it will be the 20th anniversary of my first trip with friend(s) to Amsterdam.  I am hoping to arrange a suitable commemoration visit.

The first time was in the cold, dark december of 2002.  We stayed in a (still extant, different name) hotel just off leidseplein sq.  Great location but we barely made it more than a few 100 yards from the hotel at any point, due to being generally very stoned.

One morning we tried to find Vondelpark but set off in the wrong direction, quickly got fed up and decided to have a smoke on a canal bridge, maybe 3 blocks from the hotel. We soon realised that was an error and were forced to retire immediately to our room.  We walked back very slowly, with great determination.  One entering the hotel , a guy stuck his head out of the office, expressing surprise we had returned so soon and my mate managed to mumble something at him. 

We then crawled up the steep stairs for safety, me howling with laughter the whole way.  My mate turned around and said "Shut up! I think I spoke to the guy there", I thought I was going to piss myself laughing.

So that morning was instead spent esconced in our room, lying on our respective beds - in total silence - and watching a B&W movie on Dutch TV "The man who never was" (1956).  A war movie about deception, it was hugely engrossing in our state and the B&W picture and period dutch hotel room features added great atmosphere.

That's my rock and roll hotel story ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

After smoking a spliff?  FFS.  I'd keep that story to myself. 

[Misers Hill]

3 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Pity the cunt..that pays the bandwith for you pair o fucking gooks?..

?

Jape..Hanzo??

[For Fecks Sake]

9 hours ago, Clydeside_Sheep said:

In a couple of yrs it will be the 20th anniversary of my first trip with friend(s) to Amsterdam.  I am hoping to arrange a suitable commemoration visit.

The first time was in the cold, dark december of 2002.  We stayed in a (still extant, different name) hotel just off leidseplein sq.  Great location but we barely made it more than a few 100 yards from the hotel at any point, due to being generally very stoned.

One morning we tried to find Vondelpark but set off in the wrong direction, quickly got fed up and decided to have a smoke on a canal bridge, maybe 3 blocks from the hotel. We soon realised that was an error and were forced to retire immediately to our room.  We walked back very slowly, with great determination.  One entering the hotel , a guy stuck his head out of the office, expressing surprise we had returned so soon and my mate managed to mumble something at him. 

We then crawled up the steep stairs for safety, me howling with laughter the whole way.  My mate turned around and said "Shut up! I think I spoke to the guy there", I thought I was going to piss myself laughing.

So that morning was instead spent esconced in our room, lying on our respective beds - in total silence - and watching a B&W movie on Dutch TV "The man who never was" (1956).  A war movie about deception, it was hugely engrossing in our state and the B&W picture and period dutch hotel room features added great atmosphere.

That's my rock and roll hotel story ?

All too typical a story when Brits head to Amsterdam unfortunately.

Watch as the locals nip in for a joint, smoke it and then leave with no fuss as compared to your typical Brit who makes a bline for the Bulldog to spend the day smoking joints and acting like pricks thinking they are Archie!

[Clydeside_Sheep]

22 hours ago, maryhilldon said:

After smoking a spliff?  FFS.  I'd keep that story to myself. 

Where's your sense of humour FFS?

[Clydeside_Sheep]

14 hours ago, For Fecks Sake said:

All too typical a story when Brits head to Amsterdam unfortunately.

Watch as the locals nip in for a joint, smoke it and then leave with no fuss as compared to your typical Brit who makes a bline for the Bulldog to spend the day smoking joints and acting like pricks thinking they are Archie!

Indeed.  In my many return visits I have since seen it loads!  The best one was probably a sudden internal battle between a group of irish tinkers, in the (now defunct) Sheba.

For all the bulldog is a tourist trap, the one in Leidseplein square takes some beating for its outdoors seating, in terms of watching the world go by.

Used to hang about Leidseplein all the time in the early visits, but I know the wider city reasonably well now, some place.

[shut up meg]

On 10/11/2020 at 10:43 AM, DD1903 said:

I think it's time you posted a 'live' picture, with a clock in the background, but the time in the clock and your 'live' post were hours apart. 

My favourite was when he posted a picture in June and the trees had no leafs on them.

[DD1903]

1 hour ago, shut up meg said:

My favourite was when he posted a picture in June and the trees had no leafs on them.

Hahah

he also posted a picture of a clock claiming that the barmaid had told him it was stuck at 1 o clock. Only for the picture to show the clock at 12

[Bluto10]

2 hours ago, DD1903 said:

Hahah

he also posted a picture of a clock claiming that the barmaid had told him it was stuck at 1 o clock. Only for the picture to show the clock at 12

true that (or something similar)

but you just keep thinking eh 

 

[BrianFaePerth]

The barmaid also told him he was a fat obnoxious drunk

[Bluto10]

4 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

The barmaid also told him he was a fat obnoxious drunk

haha. 
 

prick