Lockdown Skills

[Ke1t]

Anyone spent the lockdown acquiring new skills?

Baking, Cooking, landing your spunk in a crusty cereal bowl from 3 feet away as you sit in your pants at 4 in the afternoon?

I wouldn't call this a skill, but I'm cutting my own hair... and by all accounts I'm pretty bad at it. I'm going to persevere, though. No more trips to the barber for me, I don't think. Pair of wallpaper scissors and my electric shaver, and I'm golden. 

What we all doing that previously was left to the professionals, or otherwise not something you normally did? 

 

[Don Fonte]

9 minutes ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

Shaving my own back. 

A fucking nightmare but it's a decent workout as well, as one bends and twists the body to try remove all the nonsense. 

Ironically, I'm always left with perfect little "bat wings" under the shoulder blades as I can't get the machine near that part.  

 

Can't have those south american trannys placing their hands on a hairy back for balance can you?

[Studebaker-90]

Bought a TR3.. got it for 1800 m, done it up and now it’s worth 3 grand. 

[Ohjimmyjimmy]

Fuck all. Frittered the time away on here.

Growth mindset. ?

[Redmist1903]

April - March - June, sent home from work, unpaid, ate like a pig.

July - August - September - October - Discovered Cycling, started lifting weights, lost a heap of weight, looked in shape for the first time in years

November - lost job after sitting at home for 7 months waiting to go back to work, stopped exercising, eating like a pig again, drinking excessively, worrying levels.

Lockdown skills: Becoming an alcoholic without anyone noticing

[Simply Red]

Got made redundant. Got a drinking problem and started smoking tabs again. Became a fat cunt. 

Chaos.

[Zeus]

Cleaning the hoose. Never used to do it (women's job) 

Since working from home I'm always tidying / zoflora-ing the fuck oot the hoose 

[Studebaker-90]

Completed Joe wicks 

[Zeus]

3 minutes ago, Studebaker-90 said:

Completed Joe wicks 

Good edition to the pet hate thread. 

Annoying. Probably a hun 

[Bluto10]

drinking

[Misers Hill]

11 minutes ago, Bluto10 said:

drinking

n hidin ??weans .

[Fridge]

I’ve been working out ways of how to kill a Hun and not get caught.

[BrianFaePerth]

Lockdown LOL

Eh am almost jealous of folk who got a break (albeit unwanted) one back in March, April.

Other than a week or two when bog rolls where a commodity (eh had stocked up well in advance anticipating this) life has continued much as always. Been to AFL games with 30,000 in attendance, sundowners galore, social multi-household gatherings etc.

We’be been lucky we’ve not been caught up in the stupidity that has gripped the world. 
 

Though eh haven’t a hope in hell of travelling overseas until compliant with the jab guinea pig testing

[chief_wiggum]

Got a cheap fender squire strat about 4 months before lockdown 1 and was learning some chords a few rifs etc, practised for an hour most days and was doing okay...ish, but then the wife had to work from home, set up her office in the dining room.......

 

Between her  subtle moaning about the noise  (even my unplugged sessions) and me being affronted to be heard failing to do what my youtube teachers were teaching me and basically sounding shite I have put the guitar away and not touched it for 6 months, I have however became average at cocktail making /drinking.

[dervish]

Not one day off for me. I'm a lucky fucker. Hope everyone not as lucky is doing alright as you can? I'd love to say positive things to brighten it up but it's just a fucking grind. Look for a good thing a day hold on to it move onto the next. You're probably worrying too much but you won't see that till later.

 

Learnt how to make Chapati just because that was the only flour you could get and a massive bag. In my mind worst case can still eat. It's shit but got something, it's chapati!

 

Thought at one point, low percentage, high risk, that it all might go a bit like The Purge. Taking the axe in from the shed to put next to the door in hindsight probably, maybe too much. 

 

The time gained by not commuting seems to have been consumed by watching YouTube too late.

 

Boozing an issue. Sitting in a chair all day every day then a different one to relax worse.

 

Exercise peak and trough like so many. Now fuck all.

 

Plus side anytime feel like enjoying the pleasure of my own company, why the devil not? If you've got an itch scratch it.

[Simply Red]

35 minutes ago, chief_wiggum said:

Got a cheap fender squire strat about 4 months before lockdown 1 and was learning some chords a few rifs etc, practised for an hour most days and was doing okay...ish, but then the wife had to work from home, set up her office in the dining room.......

 

Between her  subtle moaning about the noise  (even my unplugged sessions) and me being affronted to be heard failing to do what my youtube teachers were teaching me and basically sounding shite I have put the guitar away and not touched it for 6 months, I have however became average at cocktail making /drinking.

Fuck the moaning. Keep at it. Headphones even. Learning an instrument is about hitting plateaus. You’ll get better but it takes patience. Dont let yir birds lack of it kill yir learning. 

Play along, however basic, to yir favourite tunes. Pick out the basslines. Takes ages and a lot of playing the same shit relentlessly to progress but you will progress. Youtubes a godsend for beginners thesedays.

Theres a million pristine guitars sitting in cupboards/lofts/under beds cos the owners couldnt figure it out after 2 months. It takes time. Stick in. 

[YorkDon]

1 hour ago, Studebaker-90 said:

Completed Joe wicks 

I’d rather complete his wife.

I’ve been fairly lucky that my work was unaffected, so wasn’t sat about the house.

Played fitba when we were allowed, bit old achilles problems kicked in again a couple of months back so couldna play or get on the bike.

I’ve nae put on too much, but just had a lump removed in my stomach amd was telt nae physical stuff (gym, fitba) til the mew year, so I might put on a bit.

[Redforever86]

A bit better at DIY.

A bit better at online poker.

Amatuer at hydroponic horticulture.

Can make fucking quality proper ramen noodles. 

Can make decent naan bread.

Can’t make decent pasta (only 1 attempt to be fair).

Drinking ability increased, lost it already as seen last night. 
 

Weight up and down, now about my average. Will lose it again in a couple of weeks. Past month has been a bit of binge for various reasons. 
 

 

[dervish]

27 minutes ago, YorkDon said:

 

I’ve nae put on too much, but just had a lump removed in my stomach amd was telt nae physical stuff (gym, fitba) til the mew year, so I might put on a bit.

Lump removed? They wouldn't be doing that now if it wasn't needed. Hope you're alright.

[Simply Red]

Always have a hammer handy for perimeter breaches. 

[dervish]

@rocket_scientist

 

At that point not too much. Also knife by the bed.

 

Very sorry to hear about your cat. You don't have to do everything yourself though, let the professional do what they do. Talk it out together. It'll still haunt you but it'll be calmer for everyone. Not that I'd know but just wouldn't say this is a DIY situation.

[Simply Red]

38 minutes ago, YorkDon said:

I’ve nae put on too much, but just had a lump removed in my stomach amd was telt nae physical stuff (gym, fitba) til the mew year, so I might put on a bit.

All the best yorko, hope yir on the mend.

[Simply Red]

1 minute ago, rocket_scientist said:

An old mate of mine - haven't seen him for almost 20 years - kept a mini baseball bat in his driver door pocket. He had to use it a couple of times on road ragers in Dundee, He grew up in Charleston (or something like that), a rough area of that city.

I always used the road rage example when arguing with yanks about their guns. Folk lose their shit massively, momentarily, and could kill in that instant, ditto drunken barneys etc but fortunately in Scotland the  government recognised 300years ago what would happen if everyone was allowed a gun. There’d be no cunt left.

I lived in Texas for a bit. Every day on the news there was ridiculous domestic shootings, road rage, drunken arguments, kid shoots mom over playstation confiscation, man gets slapped in a bar and returns with his gun, wife accuses husband of cheating and shoots him, kid gets bullied at school etc etc etc. Unreal.

Mini-baseball bat still get yi done if the cops find it. Big fucking spanners a bit less conspicuous. 

[Simply Red]

Sorry to hear about yir cat rs. Sounds like it had a good long life tho. Probably rubbed its bits allover yir stuff over the years when you werent looking, getting it right up yi. 

[dervish]

Moderate maglite is just a torch. Anyways really only was one point where drawers had things in them incase. No hard case, just incase.

Anyways rocket sounds very difficult hope you all bunch up and be glad. 

[BrianFaePerth]

2 hours ago, YorkDon said:

I’d rather complete his wife.

I’ve been fairly lucky that my work was unaffected, so wasn’t sat about the house.

Played fitba when we were allowed, bit old achilles problems kicked in again a couple of months back so couldna play or get on the bike.

I’ve nae put on too much, but just had a lump removed in my stomach amd was telt nae physical stuff (gym, fitba) til the mew year, so I might put on a bit.

All the best yorkie, hope you’re feeling better

[alscotoz]

Started exercise. Changed diet. Lost weight. Stopped drinking alcohol. Learning Spanish. Started watching TV again ( Netflix etc). 

[BrianFaePerth]

1 minute ago, alscotoz said:

Started exercise. Changed diet. Lost weight. Stopped drinking alcohol. Learning Spanish. Started watching TV again ( Netflix etc). 

Started lying ^^

[alscotoz]

todo verdad hombre maloliente

[The Boofon]

5 hours ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Lockdown LOL

Eh am almost jealous of folk who got a break (albeit unwanted) one back in March, April.

Other than a week or two when bog rolls where a commodity (eh had stocked up well in advance anticipating this) life has continued much as always. Been to AFL games with 30,000 in attendance, sundowners galore, social multi-household gatherings etc.

We’be been lucky we’ve not been caught up in the stupidity that has gripped the world. 
 

Though eh haven’t a hope in hell of travelling overseas until compliant with the jab guinea pig testing

So no skills at all then. Thanks for you usual wasteful input Brian. Been a pleasure as always.