Lockdown Skills

[Sonoftherock]

5 hours ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Lockdown LOL

Eh am almost jealous of folk who got a break (albeit unwanted) one back in March, April.

Other than a week or two when bog rolls where a commodity (eh had stocked up well in advance anticipating this) life has continued much as always. Been to AFL games with 30,000 in attendance, sundowners galore, social multi-household gatherings etc.

We’be been lucky we’ve not been caught up in the stupidity that has gripped the world. 
 

Though eh haven’t a hope in hell of travelling overseas until compliant with the jab guinea pig testing

Only because we haven't had COVID over here...

If we get an outbreak here, now the borders are beginning to relax, based on what happened in Melbourne and what is happening in Adelaide, we will go into the most draconian lockdown imaginable.

[The Boofon]

6 minutes ago, Sonoftherock said:

Only because we haven't had COVID over here...

If we get an outbreak here, now the borders are beginning to relax, based on what happened in Melbourne and what is happening in Adelaide, we will go into the most draconian lockdown imaginable.

Please oh please any god let it be so.

[Poodler]

Enrolled on a uni course thinking I was capable of passing/ working to that level. Huge expensive arrogant mistake.

Lost 6kg by not going to the bar.

learned to make espresso martinis. Probably the best in Rosemount 

[minijc]

Good at baking now, I make the best victoria sponge in the Northeast and my breads are good too.  Also written 300 jokes that'll probably never see the light of day but it's a fun process.

[Zeus]

Read a book a week

[Guest milne_afc]

So basically, lots of you have turned bent.

[Poodler]

I've never come over a little queer 

[manboobs109]

8 minutes ago, milne_afc said:

So basically, lots of you have turned bent.

Haha what a bunch of cunts

[minijc]

11 minutes ago, milne_afc said:

So basically, lots of you have turned bent.

If anything my posture has improved.

[Studebaker-90]

1 hour ago, The Boofon said:

Please oh please any god let it be so.

+1 

[The Boofon]

20 minutes ago, milne_afc said:

So basically, lots of you have turned bent.

Turned is pushing it with most of them.

 

Already were raging shit stabbers IMO.

[BrianFaePerth]

2 hours ago, Sonoftherock said:

Only because we haven't had COVID over here...

If we get an outbreak here, now the borders are beginning to relax, based on what happened in Melbourne and what is happening in Adelaide, we will go into the most draconian lockdown imaginable.

Undeniably.
 

Still not understood thon boy who lied in Adelaide. Surely working there would make it easier for him to give others the rona than just being a customer visiting once.

 

[The Buzzard]

8 hours ago, Simply Red said:

Fuck the moaning. Keep at it. Headphones even. Learning an instrument is about hitting plateaus. You’ll get better but it takes patience. Dont let yir birds lack of it kill yir learning. 

Play along, however basic, to yir favourite tunes. Pick out the basslines. Takes ages and a lot of playing the same shit relentlessly to progress but you will progress. Youtubes a godsend for beginners thesedays.

Theres a million pristine guitars sitting in cupboards/lofts/under beds cos the owners couldnt figure it out after 2 months. It takes time. Stick in. 

I think the guitar has become the must-have accessory for strategic placement in house brochures when up for sale. 

Certainly in the central belt, every fucking house seems to have a guitar propped up in the corner of a room. 

[The Buzzard]

7 hours ago, rocket_scientist said:

No I was never going to do it. It was weird that I was even thinking about it last night as the cat slept between our legs. The vet does this job and I'm too woose to even attend the lights getting put out ceremony. I love the cat, the kids grew up with it, they're taking it hard and three of them travelled home to say goodbye.

The hammer is next to the bed, the knife is next to my seat in the front room. I hope never to have to use either on a human intruder.

Sorry about the cat. We lost one a couple of years ago. Fucking devastating. 

Ps. @YorkDon, hope you are good too. Sounds grim. 

[Henry]

13 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Stuck a dartboard in the garage in March and after about 3 weeks of going in every so often when I was bored got my first 180 .

Revisited it the other night for the first time in months  and I was shite , just like starting all over again . 

Need 10,000 hours practice mate.

@minijc you must be getting close to the big time now?

[Henry]

5 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

This could be your calling. Everybody has one.

Could be, he's tried everything else. 

[Redforever86]

Whose basement does Minijc bake his brown bread in?

 

 

 

 

It’s granary. 

[Singapore Steve]

Continued working the entire time, however signed up for a mini MBA course and am nearing completion with final assignment due 4th January.

Drinking way to much also. 

[Redforever86]

During lockdown Minijc started selling fake “Bennachie spring water”. 
 

 

 

 

He just got it fae his Mithers Tap.

[Redforever86]

Just now, rocket_scientist said:

You're in the joke scrap heap with soop.

Mini may be on his way to join you soon. 

You never really know how shit a joke is until it’s revealed to a wide audience, even the best comics know that. Sometimes the humour is in how shite it is too.

As you say there is no harm in trying and who gives a fuck if others think it’s shite. If it brings a brief smile to someone’s face or you enjoy the challenge of creating it then no harm done. 

[Redforever86]

What did Minijc get Bri for his birthday?

 

 

A Victoria sponge. 

[YorkDon]

@rocket_scientist  your pets are just like any other family member, when you lose one it’s never good.

Waiting on the results of a biopsy, but consultant is confident it’s nothing nasty, so fingers crossed.

20 odd stitches, so should have a bonny scar I can pass off as a shark bite or something.

Thanks for the good wishes folks.

[BrianFaePerth]

14 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

So does ours. On the telly. The bitch hasn't seen one in real life. Too cold for them up here. 

Ours does too. Goes fuckin mental.

 

 

[Redforever86]

My darkie barks at dogs.

[minijc]

Thanks for the encouragement @rocket_scientist  I appreciate it.

 

Did you hear about the Israeli skier that won a gold medal?

 

SLALOM  

[minijc]

2 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

There's a pan loaf in the oven with your name on it. 

I am the man with the pan.

[minijc]

1 minute ago, rocket_scientist said:

And I'm the man who's going to pan in your fledgling career unless you deliver some good jokes. More please. 

If the little mermaid was a sex worker she'd be a fin-dom.

[minijc]

Just now, rocket_scientist said:

Ok that's enough. Get back in the kitchen and make us all some sandwiches. 

I'll make you a knuckle sandwich papa

[The Boofon]

1 minute ago, rocket_scientist said:

I really don't want to hear the other 298.

Then again it could be just me. Cunts out there and in here like The Office and Mrs Broon's Loons. 

He never made the Slalom one up. Heard that before.

 

 

[minijc]

1 minute ago, rocket_scientist said:

I really don't want to hear the other 298.

Then again it could be just me. Cunts out there and in here like The Office and Mrs Broon's Loons. 

I actually got a message from Keith Chegwin (RIP) after I tweeted a joke to him, he liked the joke.