Jump to content

Christmas 2020


The Buzzard

Recommended Posts

45 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

Sorry man just being a dick. We'll be same as most years, open presents at ours, down to my mum's for food/piss up, up the road, wife and wee man go to bed I'll watch a film and drink port and eat Stilton. 

Wake up Boxing Day rough as fuck, along to the pub for pints, watch football, few bets on. If pubs aren't open I'll probably just do the same in the house. 

Sounds a good day, Moobs. Hope the dog gets a special meal on the day too! 

Yeah, that's a good Boxing Day but unlikely to take place this year. 

Link to comment

Just discovered you can buy a fucking GRAPPLING HOOK on Amazon. 

I've never owned a grappling hook, but now that I've seen it I feel like I've been missing out on a whole world of scaling vertical surfaces and tethering small boats. 

Also, according to the blurb, it can: "MOVE CAR: You can use it to move your car which has no engine. It will make it much more easier to move."   This is handy for those mornings you go out to the car to find some scamp has nicked the engine out of your motor. You can just slap this grappling hook on the front bumper and haul your car in to work by hand since it'll now be much more easier to move. 

I've a feeling everyone in the family is going to be waking up to their own shiny new grappling hook under the Christmas tree this December. 

51xG9+DnreL._AC_SX425_.jpg

 

 

 

 

  • Upvote 2
  • Downvote 1
Link to comment

I've done my usual 'dinna get me anything' thing this year which will be ignored. I honestly mean it as well. As long as I get a feed and a bevvy and see the wee man getting his presents I'm happy but I'll still get shit I don't want/need. The money my mum spends she could get me a cracker of a bottle of whisky but she thinks that's a waste of money so I'll get a shirt that doesn't fit, pants I can't wear, thin as fuck socks, a diary I won't use, driving gloves etc Mental. 

Link to comment
2 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

I've done my usual 'dinna get me anything' thing this year which will be ignored. I honestly mean it as well. As long as I get a feed and a bevvy and see the wee man getting his presents I'm happy but I'll still get shit I don't want/need. The money my mum spends she could get me a cracker of a bottle of whisky but she thinks that's a waste of money so I'll get a shirt that doesn't fit, pants I can't wear, thin as fuck socks, a diary I won't use, driving gloves etc Mental. 

Drop hints to her that you heard someone talking about a grappling hook... 

Link to comment
43 minutes ago, manboobs109 said:

I've done my usual 'dinna get me anything' thing this year which will be ignored. I honestly mean it as well. As long as I get a feed and a bevvy and see the wee man getting his presents I'm happy but I'll still get shit I don't want/need. The money my mum spends she could get me a cracker of a bottle of whisky but she thinks that's a waste of money so I'll get a shirt that doesn't fit, pants I can't wear, thin as fuck socks, a diary I won't use, driving gloves etc Mental. 

Think you and I have the same mum. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Ke1t said:

Just discovered you can buy a fucking GRAPPLING HOOK on Amazon. 

I've never owned a grappling hook, but now that I've seen it I feel like I've been missing out on a whole world of scaling vertical surfaces and tethering small boats. 

Also, according to the blurb, it can: "MOVE CAR: You can use it to move your car which has no engine. It will make it much more easier to move."   This is handy for those mornings you go out to the car to find some scamp has nicked the engine out of your motor. You can just slap this grappling hook on the front bumper and haul your car in to work by hand since it'll now be much more easier to move. 

I've a feeling everyone in the family is going to be waking up to their own shiny new grappling hook under the Christmas tree this December. 

51xG9+DnreL._AC_SX425_.jpg

 

 

 

 

Got one in the loft from my special forces days, handy bit of kit.

Link to comment
7 hours ago, manboobs109 said:

I've done my usual 'dinna get me anything' thing this year which will be ignored. I honestly mean it as well. As long as I get a feed and a bevvy and see the wee man getting his presents I'm happy but I'll still get shit I don't want/need. 

The same. We even have a supposed agreement among all the adults in the family that we don’t. But the women always send something “for under the tree”. Drives me fuckin mad.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, BrianFaePerth said:

The same. We even have a supposed agreement among all the adults in the family that we don’t. But the women always send something “for under the tree”. Drives me fuckin mad.

The male/female divide.

Dont buy me anything/i dont need anything/dont waste money you dont have buying me shite/something you cant afford and i dont need or want/its a pain in the balls using my limited time off taking stuff back to a place i detest, ie.the shops, rendering your ‘gift’ a massive kick in the balls for me. Its an anti-present.  

I repeat this to all the females in my family every year. 

Ive told them to just give the money to charity if they feel they have to get me something.

Like rf says, anything under £50 you need, you buy yourself when you need it.

Despite this my missus is still compelled to buy me shit every xmas.  

Today i got a £7 cunting toblerone advent calendar!!?

Aside from the fact ive been out of work 3.5months so trying to be prudent, im a grown man with zero interest in a fucking advent calendar let alone eating bite size toblerones everyday. (It was an expensive shit beer one last year?)

Just give me the £7 (of my money) and i’ll put it towards the weekly shop for the family. Un-fucking-believable.

Xmas presents are for kids. Spoil the kids. I like xmas day, good food and bevvy, that enough for me. Unless youre a millionaire family member and you want to buy me a jetski, i dont need a £6.50 heated windscreen scraper thanks. 40yrs of age and i got a lynx africa bath set from my ma last year. She mustve got a flashback to 1994. It’ll sit unopened on top of the bathroom cabinet for the rest of time or until my wee boy becomes 12yr of age.

Conversely, i like spoiling her at xmas cos she loves it. Must be a part of the female brain that just remains retarded from childhood and loves getting presents regardless if they need/want/like them or if theyre economically sensible from the senders point of view.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...