Jump to content

Scottish Elections


caledonia

SCOTTISH ELECTIONS  

82 members have voted

  1. 1. Who will you be voting for come the Scottish Elections in May



Recommended Posts

25 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

Ive regaled this story before. 

I was kicked out of scouts for launching a scud missile of a shot directly into the stomach of a pregnant woman. 

Im not a monster, i was aiming it for her husbands face and missed by a few feet. 

And that was the end of my dib dib dibbing. 

Im presuming everything went ok. 

Are you related to Drew Jarvie? He used to love scudding a ball off a pensioner in the Merkland during the keeper warm up.

Mind some old Codger got one clean off the dish and had to get stretchered out. One of this feel sorry for him moments but also trying not to piss yourself laughing.

 

Link to comment

1 hour ago, cheesepipes said:

How come if i reference homosexuals regularly im accused of being one. 

Going by your laws of the jungle would this make you a closet Conservative supporter. 

I don't actually think you're gay, Cheesers. It's all in jest. 

You do appear to have quite the fascination with men anally penetrating each other though. I don't find it attractive, it's just confusing. 

  • Downvote 1
Link to comment
5 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

Its cheap old fashioned humour from an age gone by. 

I simply can't get out of it. My friends are all the same, one in particular most definitely worse. 

Ive even got a poof mate. Although he left for London 2 decades ago for more penis choices. 

Yer poof mate isn't Douglas "I hate pikies" Ross is it?

Granted I hate the Tories with an absolute passion but if I did have a shred of support for them I'd be very worried. What an absolute bell end the Boris puppet is?.

Link to comment
Guest milne_afc
2 minutes ago, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

Cheespipes is defo the kind of guy who's tried to stuff his own cock up his arse 

You make it sound so unromantic 

Link to comment
Just now, milne_afc said:

You make it sound so unromantic 

Don't imagine he owns any deodorant, let alone scented candles and aromas. 
 

No, he'll be trying to jam it up there dry and unwashed. When he fails he comes on here and talks about cocks and arsed all evening. 
 

It's really sad to see

Link to comment

Just had an SNP election flyer through the door.

2 words are conspicuous by their absence - "independence" and "referendum".  Neither appears even once ?

Instead they "pledge" to get us through the pandemic and "prioritise" investment in the NHS and education.

They list some threadbare achievements, including "global leadership on climate change" ?

The photo of Sturgeon used must be 5 - 10 years old too.

Great stuff!  To be fair to Sturgeon, she said (years ago) that she would not go for a referendum until Indy support was consistently above 60%, when it has been nowhere near that and is currently falling.

Alba's formal press activities have been cringe-worthy so far, but I do hope Salmond slithers into Holyrood for the laughs.

  • Dildo 2
Link to comment
Just now, cheesepipes said:

Based on what. 

I dont even enjoy a slender lady finger, no matter how much im told to relax. 

Your obsession with cocks and anus' of course 

Link to comment
Just now, Clydeside_Sheep said:

Just had an SNP election flyer through the door.

2 words are conspicuous by their absence - "independence" and "referendum".  Neither appears even once ?

Instead they "pledge" to get us through the pandemic and "prioritise" investment in the NHS and education.

They list some threadbare achievements, including "global leadership on climate change" ?

The photo of Sturgeon used must be 5 - 10 years old too.

Great stuff!  To be fair to Sturgeon, she said (years ago) that she would not go for a referendum until Indy support was consistently above 60%, when it has been nowhere near that and is currently falling.

Alba's formal press activities have been cringe-worthy so far, but I do hope Salmond slithers into Holyrood for the laughs.

Give it a rest you half brained dipshit lunatic

Link to comment
11 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

You're obsessed with black people. 

I dont ruin your good standing on here because of it. 

We both know I don't have a good standing on here. 
 

I have many a hater, it keeps me coming back x

Link to comment
22 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

Im very comfortable with my high level hygiene and expensive designer scents. 

Get many a positive comment from female representatives on rigs.  The competition is stinking Africans or Geordie scaffolders but ill always maintain my gold standard. 

Haha. 
 

Heard the scenes are brutal offshore in Africa, so an old school park tells me. 
 

 

Link to comment
25 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

Man of habit. 

Could be heading out to The Moorings to woo Rock Chicks or running a tool subsea on a rig. 

Dove Deodorant 

Johnsons Baby Lotion for soft skin 

Vanilla n Mango beard oil for the hugely dangerous beard. 

Small spray of Dior Fahrenheit (30 years plus customer) 

Baby talc for my bollocks. 

Dont sit there and tell me thats not a delight for the senses. 

That's a fair bloody set up. 
 

The talc stop the sweats? 
 

Just ordered some Tobacco and Vanilla beard oil myself. 
 

I take back everything I said, a cacophony of delightful smells there 

Link to comment
26 minutes ago, Dad said:

Is that really why he went to London? Cock? 

 

Surely more to it than that cheese son

Dennis Nilsen made a successful career out of moving away from our area to Laaadin in search of same sex loving.

His profession as a civil servant at the Job Centre was just a clever ruse used to put the local police off this upstanding citizen of humanity. It worked to be fair to the loon. 

Link to comment
15 minutes ago, Dad said:

Scotland no home for the serious homosexual it seems

Now you mention it, I knew a cunt who went down there for 'a great job opportunity' 

 

Lying wee bastard

Is Edinburgh nae Britain’s woofter capital? 
 

though, with London being 10 times bigger, there must be a bigger selection down there (especially if he did all the benders in EDI) 

Link to comment

 

1 minute ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Bursting for a pish, was he?

love Jim’ll Fix It 

Dozy cunt copped a conviction for offering an undercover rozzer a gummie in the toilets in Hyde Park a good decade before George Michael got in on the act in LA.

IIRC it happened a few days before Bronski Beat were supposed to be flying out to the States to be the support act for Madonna. In the aftermath, he refused to go (he might not have gotten in anyway on the strength of it), his 2 other bandmates (who were bumming each other) turned on him and poor old Jimmy was out the band about a month later.

Link to comment
21 minutes ago, Ten Caat said:

 

Dozy cunt copped a conviction for offering an undercover rozzer a gummie in the toilets in Hyde Park a good decade before George Michael got in on the act in LA.

IIRC it happened a few days before Bronski Beat were supposed to be flying out to the States to be the support act for Madonna. In the aftermath, he refused to go (he might not have gotten in anyway on the strength of it), his 2 other bandmates (who were bumming each other) turned on him and poor old Jimmy was out the band about a month later.

^ A heartwarming tale about the birth of the Communards 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
On 4/13/2021 at 1:28 PM, caledonia said:

Starving children is not enough for the Tories

With the greatest respect, fuck up.

There are no starving children in the UK, thanks to our very generous welfare system and large plethora of schemes to feather the nests of the less fortunate.

Poverty in the UK is defined as the Government not giving you a council house  with several extra bedrooms which you don't actually need.

  • Upvote 1
  • Dildo 6
Link to comment
On 4/12/2021 at 3:11 PM, ConsiCanBoogie1903 said:

 People shouldn't feel ashamed of who they are attracted to.

Can I ask, what religion are you?

I completely agree that people should not feel ashamed of who they are attracted to.

Why ask about religion?  That response is a meme in your personality, implanted by popular culture / media.

To understand human sexuality, we need only need consider it for what it is: how it works, what it does, why this is important etc.  I do not have any biology qualifications, but everyone covers it in general science in early high school. No-one's religious faith (or lack thereof) impinges on the objective reality of it.

Rationality is not the sole preserve of the religious, even if it often seems like it today.

 

 

 

  • Downvote 1
  • Dildo 1
Link to comment
5 hours ago, Bad_Mobby said:

^ A heartwarming tale about the birth of the Communards 

I liked them when they were a thing.  (I was like 8 or something).

I remember their "don't leave me this way" in the charts.  It was great, although they cant lay a glove on thelma houston, of course.

Jimmy Somerville seems a decent guy, though hes done fuck all for a long time.  Richard Coles has proved an interesting character in the fullness of time, Im tempted to read his autobiography.

  • Downvote 1
  • Dildo 1
Link to comment
2 hours ago, Clydeside_Sheep said:

I liked them when they were a thing.  (I was like 8 or something).

I remember their "don't leave me this way" in the charts.  It was great, although they cant lay a glove on thelma houston, of course.

Jimmy Somerville seems a decent guy, though hes done fuck all for a long time.  Richard Coles has proved an interesting character in the fullness of time, Im tempted to read his autobiography.

Somerville always did my head in, like most Communist / fudge-nudger hybrids he had a serious persecution complex and was never slow to let the world know this. I shudder whenever I hear his "Small Town Boy" hit.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...