Jump to content
Dad

In The News

Recommended Posts

19 minutes ago, Don Fonte said:

What a bunch of fucking fairies.

Imagine their chat on a night out, having to give each other "trigger warnings" before every joke

Share this post


Link to post

^All involved need rounded up and shot. Those cunts are ruining the world.

Share this post


Link to post

Lock them in a room and make them watch Roy chubby brown on repeat until they start crying 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post

Thing is everyone of them will be going home and watching porn until their eyes bleed but they need "trigger warnings" before reading a history textbook.

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, For Fecks Sake said:

Fucking wet wipes. Can imagine me in the old Aberdeen College of Commerce days asking for advance warning of any slightly dubious stuff. 
How the fuck do students even decide that is something worth having a vote on. 

Share this post


Link to post

It will be Trigger warning signs outside shops next -

"Warning this place contains dead animals" for the butchers / Fishmonger

"Warning this place contains clothes made from dead animals" for clothes shops

and

"Warning this place contains complete minkers" for outside Archie Simpsons.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
10 hours ago, Dons79 said:

https://apple.news/AZi27mp_0S2WMW61IPvrAYw
4000 a day deid in Brazil due to nasty covids

pray for grays 🤞

5 World Cups though... 🇧🇷

Show me your conga for qualifying for the Euros via the playoffs, on penalties - slugs.

Cannae dae nowt here.  Everything shut.  People are losing their businesses and jobs.

I'm sick this week.  Dunno if it's the Covid or just a normal cold.  Runny nose and tired likes, and that's about it.

Am I ok @Ten Caat ? 

Share this post


Link to post
Posted (edited)

Here GB son - I got those Earbud retainers in the post the day

Work fine; but make sure you've got a long enough earlobe to catch her at the bottom - otherwise; Bjorn Borg looking cunt you'll be 😎

 

PS - you get bluetooth headphones built into headbands these days son; just get them you prick

Edited by Dad
spelling - eat your greens

Share this post


Link to post
4 minutes ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

5 World Cups though... 🇧🇷

Show me your conga for qualifying for the Euros via the playoffs, on penalties - slugs.

Cannae dae nowt here.  Everything shut.  People are losing their businesses and jobs.

I'm sick this week.  Dunno if it's the Covid or just a normal cold.  Runny nose and tired likes, and that's about it.

Am I ok @Ten Caat ? 

Swamp poisoning 

Share this post


Link to post
2 minutes ago, Grays Babylon 1875 said:

5 World Cups though... 🇧🇷

Show me your conga for qualifying for the Euros via the playoffs, on penalties - slugs.

Cannae dae nowt here.  Everything shut.  People are losing their businesses and jobs.

I'm sick this week.  Dunno if it's the Covid or just a normal cold.  Runny nose and tired likes, and that's about it.

Am I ok @Ten Caat ? 

Exactly the same symptoms as you would get as happens when you get infected with HIV. Check your lymph nodes in your neck......if they're swollen I'd recommend drinking a pint of neat dettol you filthy bastard

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post

Infection from a shit tattoo

Share this post


Link to post

Take a bath in Epsom Salts GB son

Share this post


Link to post
1 minute ago, Dad said:

Here GB son - I got those Earbud retainers in the post the day

Work fine; but make sure you've got a long enough earlobe to catch her at the bottom - otherwise; Bjorn Borg looking cunt you'll be 😎

 

PS - you get bluetooth headphones built into heabands these days son; just get them you prick

I've been out a number of times now with the earphones just squished in and completed my runs with no problems.  

Feels like they're gonna slip out when you get a little sweaty but ain't happened yet, thank the Lord. 

When the shops open up I'll maybe still get one of them retainers anyway for extra protection - ooooooh Bodyform... Bodyform for yoooooooou.  

Share this post


Link to post

Ach good then 👍

 

Tbh - after experiencing this product, I'm confident I can design summat better anyway. Or at the very least - an option for thee of wee lobes 

Share this post


Link to post
7 minutes ago, Ten Caat said:

Exactly the same symptoms as you would get as happens when you get infected with HIV. Check your lymph nodes in your neck......if they're swollen I'd recommend drinking a pint of neat dettol you filthy bastard

They don't have Dettol here.

How long til I'm dead ? 

Share this post


Link to post

Who would have thought swimming about in a cancer infected swamp with dog shites swimming about would make you ill?

Share this post


Link to post
8 hours ago, manboobs109 said:

Imagine their chat on a night out, having to give each other "trigger warnings" before every joke

You think they tell jokes?  That would normally require someone to be the 'butt' of the joke,  which would be too upsetting for all concerned. 

Share this post


Link to post
12 hours ago, manboobs109 said:

Imagine their chat on a night out, having to give each other "trigger warnings" before every joke

"Knock Knock"

"You can't say Knock Knock... it frightens Tarquin. You have to slide a note under the door, and it can't be written in red ink, that's a trigger."

*Slides note under door*

"Who's there? It says Nobel.... you can't say Nobel, because that suggest competitiveness. You have to say 'equal participation prizes for everyone....  so, Equal participation prizes for everyone who?"

"Equal participation prizes for everyone, that's why I'm sliding a note in green ink under the door."

Share this post


Link to post

Pray for Grays. Brazil deaths accelerating and he reported feeling Covid-y. Plus he had just been entered by polluted worms who were hungry for white poonanni. At least he gave an elderly person of dubious sexuality a night he or she'll never remember. 

Share this post


Link to post
18 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

"Knock Knock"

"You can't say Knock Knock... it frightens Tarquin. You have to slide a note under the door, and it can't be written in red ink, that's a trigger."

*Slides note under door*

"Who's there? It says Nobel.... you can't say Nobel, because that suggest competitiveness. You have to say 'equal participation prizes for everyone....  so, Equal participation prizes for everyone who?"

"Equal participation prizes for everyone, that's why I'm sliding a note in green ink under the door."

Or go in hard. 

Fit like ye bunch of fruit juice drinking faggots. 

A negro, a poofter and a spastic walk into a bar. 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
21 minutes ago, rocket_scientist said:

Pray for Grays. Brazil deaths accelerating and he reported feeling Covid-y. Plus he had just been entered by polluted worms who were hungry for white poonanni. At least he gave an elderly person of dubious sexuality a night he or she'll never remember. 

He'll be fine. The flat and house we lived in will have sharpened the cunts immune system. He's just a bit bent.

Share this post


Link to post
3 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

Or go in hard. 

Fit like ye bunch of fruit juice drinking faggots. 

A negro, a poofter and a spastic walk into a bar. 

 

 

I remember a story about Jasper Carrot doing a gig in Saudi Arabia... before he goes on stage he's informed that he can't make jokes about religion, or sex. 

He goes on stage and he opens with, "So there's this Imam sodomising a camel..."

Share this post


Link to post
19 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

Or go in hard. 

Fit like ye bunch of fruit juice drinking faggots. 

A negro, a poofter and a spastic walk into a bar. 

 

 

What's the punchline?

 

 

 

 

I never knew Harvey was gay. 

Share this post


Link to post
6 hours ago, The beard of mcinnes said:

I've heard some bullshit in my time (lots on here tbf) but this is fairly high on the list.

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-56663830

 

 I sometimes wished I'd never won this money, because it was just making my life a misery.

 

1.7m will do that to a man, short money chump change"

 

"Following the win, he extended his overdraft and spent more than £2,500 celebrating with family and friends."

Fucking hell only spent £2,500 celebrating.... I would have that much spent in seconds on a bottle of Whisky to drink while planning the celebrations.

Share this post


Link to post
20 minutes ago, For Fecks Sake said:

 

"Following the win, he extended his overdraft and spent more than £2,500 celebrating with family and friends."

Fucking hell only spent £2,500 celebrating.... I would have that much spent in seconds on a bottle of Whisky to drink while planning the celebrations.

Shyster cunts these Gamblor companies.

Mugs game. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
6 hours ago, Dad said:

Ach good then 👍

 

Tbh - after experiencing this product, I'm confident I can design summat better anyway. Or at the very least - an option for thee of wee lobes 

Why do you need anything like that if you're just sitting drooling in your wheelchair? 

 

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...