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2 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Start off by saying you just did some cocaine in the toilets 

That one seems to be popular 

Then whip out your shrivelled cock and invite grandma to confirm its flaccidity. 

 

Before excusing yourself and locking yourself in the disabled bogs to mull over if that actually just happened or not. 

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2 hours ago, 1903Fitba said:

Writing a best man speech. 
 

Tempted to just wing it, however I’ll be rubbered and her side of the family are very well to do. Melt downs incoming. 

I done one a few months ago. Had only had a couple of pints beforehand. Was a bit nervous but once I got talking was totally fine. I'm sure everyone's the same  

I prepared it a bit and let a few folk who weren't going to the wedding read it over before. Their praise of it gave me a bit more confidence that what I'd written was good. As I'd read it over so many times myself, I'd started to doubt myself. 

Best of luck. 

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The one and only time I did one of those speeches, ironically I was categorically told no lines until after the meal/ speeches. 
 

I was rubbish at it. A jittery wreck. I Ken id have been better in full on bing bong mode, could’ve taken the mic for a walk Marti Pellow style.
 

then held up the first dance due to being in a cubicle with a man who’s since done away with himself and a bridesmaid
 

Don’t mention ex girlfriends is my advice. Parky has the right idea - getting it vetted. I let someone see mine on the eve of the wedding and it was all scored oot. Shame

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5 hours ago, Poodler said:

The one and only time I did one of those speeches, ironically I was categorically told no lines until after the meal/ speeches. 
 

I was rubbish at it. A jittery wreck. I Ken id have been better in full on bing bong mode, could’ve taken the mic for a walk Marti Pellow style.
 

then held up the first dance due to being in a cubicle with a man who’s since done away with himself and a bridesmaid
 

Don’t mention ex girlfriends is my advice. Parky has the right idea - getting it vetted. I let someone see mine on the eve of the wedding and it was all scored oot. Shame

Murder suicide?

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11 hours ago, Hagi's pubic hair said:

Pissing myself at the Facebook fuckup, they sent out an update that bricked all their routers lol, so they have no access remotely to run a fix on thousands of routers worldwide, and to top it off, this update has also screwed the access to the buildings, just epic stuff. :)
They could be down for a good few more hours.

 

 

  • Haha 2
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