What you doing today?

[Parklife]

Just now, Bad_Mobby said:

Doing a rap? 

White men can't rap. You should know that. 

[Parklife]

1 minute ago, Fridge said:

You get married Parkie or best man?

Best man. Marriage isn't for me. 

[Fridge]

Fair play what’s your best line that you’re thinking up? Sure a few boys on here will be able to come up some funny’s

[RAZOR]

31 minutes ago, Parklife said:

Best man. Marriage isn't for me. 

Good luck Parky.

The Bangor joke is the classic move.

[dazzy_deff]

Nursing a mild hangover the day. Pints went down a treat last night. 

Key working.

Cook supper

Watch a film

Bed

[Parklife]

24 minutes ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Any joke/anecdote at a wedding must be original and made up by the speech giver

Good luck Parkie
 

Agreed. All 100% original jokes and true stories in my speech. 

[Fridge]

Indeed but sometimes you need an opener to settle the mood
Then compliment the bride

Then absolutely annihilate the boy and hope you don’t get killed by his outraged Uncle or someone! ?

[The Buzzard]

41 minutes ago, Parklife said:

Agreed. All 100% original jokes and true stories in my speech. 

Good luck, @Parklife. Thankfully never had to do one but sat and listened to one or two car crashes in the past. My mate gave a speech in the past that had older members of the crowd walking out. Steer clear of wanking stories was what I took from that speech. 

[BrianFaePerth]

Don’t go too hard on the Jews parky

[Parklife]

1 hour ago, The Buzzard said:

Good luck, @Parklife. Thankfully never had to do one but sat and listened to one or two car crashes in the past. My mate gave a speech in the past that had older members of the crowd walking out. Steer clear of wanking stories was what I took from that speech. 

Cheers man. Only bit thats a bit dodgy is when I have to clarify that my mate didn't fuck a minor. 

[Fridge]

1 minute ago, Parklife said:

Cheers man. Only bit thats a bit dodgy is when I have to clarify that my mate didn't fuck a minor. 

I would imagine even that in jest in the speech is best avoided!

[Parklife]

Just now, Fridge said:

I would imagine even that in jest in the speech is best avoided!

Shitebag. 

[dazzy_deff]

3 minutes ago, Fridge said:

I would imagine even that in jest in the speech is best avoided!

Is it fuck. Cruder the better. 

Ive done one best man speech and was brutal to the groom. Likewise, i had all sorts of shit flung at me by my bestmen. Its all in jest.

[Fridge]

2 minutes ago, dazzy_deff said:

Is it fuck. Cruder the better. 

Ive done one best man speech and was brutal to the groom. Likewise, i had all sorts of shit flung at me by my bestmen. Its all in jest.

Well fair enough I just think thing firing out paedo jokes when folks grandparents are there are nae good 

 

Shagging stories are completely fair game

[Parklife]

5 minutes ago, Fridge said:

Well fair enough I just think thing firing out paedo jokes when folks grandparents are there are nae good 

 

Shagging stories are completely fair game

It's the opposite of a paedo story. I explicitly state he's not a paedo.  

[Parklife]

5 minutes ago, Fridge said:

Well fair enough I just think thing firing out paedo jokes when folks grandparents are there are nae good 

 

Shagging stories are completely fair game

It's the opposite of a paedo story. I explicitly state he's not a paedo.  

[Fridge]

1 minute ago, Parklife said:

It's the opposite of a paedo story. I explicitly state he's not a paedo.  

I know that fuck me you wouldn’t be mates with him if he was but still best avoided in jest I would say but maybe if you think everyone will think it is funny go for it

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest if someone said that said that at a wedding but it would some folk

Anyway let us know how it goes

 

 

[ericblack4boss]

3 hours ago, Parklife said:

Best man. Marriage isn't for me. 

Problem with being best man at a wedding , you never get a chance to prove it

[Quagmire]

46 minutes ago, Fridge said:

Well fair enough I just think thing firing out paedo jokes when folks grandparents are there are nae good 

 

Shagging stories are completely fair game

Personally I think it’s fair game unless you’re aiming to ride either of the Grannies later on. Need to be a little more charming with your speech in that scenario. 

[Fridge]

1 minute ago, Quagmire said:

Personally I think it’s fair game unless you’re aiming to ride either of the Grannies later on. Need to be a little more charming with your speech in that scenario. 

Like I said I couldn’t give a fuck if some one fired out racist or homophobic or any jokes

It’s a joke

But best avoided because nae doubt somebody will was my only advice

 

[For Fecks Sake]

Afternoon watching the Olympics.

Fantastic viewing so far.

[Quagmire]

Hutch was Fridges best man. 

[Parklife]

4 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

Hutch was Fridges best man. 

Fridge was Hutch's best man and Fridge was too scared to rip the pish. 

[Fridge]

Ha, na he was the bouncer 

[Fridge]

2 hours ago, Fridge said:

I would imagine even that in jest in the speech is best avoided!

Ha just remembered an opener

Fuck about with your speech papers and say “sorry about this someone sat on my glasses”

My own fault should have taken them off first

[For Fecks Sake]

2 minutes ago, Fridge said:

Ha just remembered an opener

Fuck about with your speech papers and say “sorry about this someone sat on my glasses”

My own fault should have taken them off first

Or

"It's not actually the first time that XXXX has asked me to prepare a few lines for him"

Goes down a treat with a certain section of the wedding!

[Poodler]

out of office on (see A2TTRM) for trois weeks. 

@BrianFaePerth Any restrictions up there? 

[For Fecks Sake]

Mentioned a few weeks back and kicking off the weekend

 

[Redforever86]

10 minutes ago, For Fecks Sake said:

Mentioned a few weeks back and kicking off the weekend

 

Aye I'm just going to listen to one hour and twenty minutes of shite dance music at 4pm. Why you fuck you posting that? 

[For Fecks Sake]

1 minute ago, Redforever86 said:

Aye I'm just going to listen to one hour and twenty minutes of shite dance music at 4pm. Why you fuck you posting that? 

To start my weekend.