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For Fecks Sake

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9 hours ago, Bad_Mobby said:

Take a shit in a champagne glass 

Then stand up to wipe your arse (then glass the bride)

Love Elton John 

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5 hours ago, Poodler said:

The one and only time I did one of those speeches, ironically I was categorically told no lines until after the meal/ speeches. 
 

I was rubbish at it. A jittery wreck. I Ken id have been better in full on bing bong mode, could’ve taken the mic for a walk Marti Pellow style.
 

then held up the first dance due to being in a cubicle with a man who’s since done away with himself and a bridesmaid
 

Don’t mention ex girlfriends is my advice. Parky has the right idea - getting it vetted. I let someone see mine on the eve of the wedding and it was all scored oot. Shame

Murder suicide?

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My mate Styles mentioned something about all women being bitches or whores at a lovely sunny wedding at Pittodrie House Hotel. 

He got the cocaine fuelled table of arseholes in hysterics if anything. 

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11 hours ago, Hagi's pubic hair said:

Pissing myself at the Facebook fuckup, they sent out an update that bricked all their routers lol, so they have no access remotely to run a fix on thousands of routers worldwide, and to top it off, this update has also screwed the access to the buildings, just epic stuff. :)
They could be down for a good few more hours.

 

 

  • Haha 2

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44 minutes ago, cheesepipes said:

My mate Styles mentioned something about all women being bitches or whores at a lovely sunny wedding at Pittodrie House Hotel. 

He got the cocaine fuelled table of arseholes in hysterics if anything. 

A. Styles?

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12 hours ago, Parklife said:

I prepared it a bit and let a few folk who weren't going to the wedding read it over before. Their praise of it gave me a bit more confidence that what I'd written was good.

#humblebrag

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Think Parky emailed me a draft of it iirc. Needed a wee bit of editing but was generally very good .

I advised him to leave out the ‘rap’ at the end though. 

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Just Styles...... No initial. 

 

A wild man and amateur arsonist and pyrotechnics enthusiast in his youth. 

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usually do card read outs from the local school nonce at the crews weddins 

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Keyworking from the office - the pandemic is over 

 

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Who would you have as your Hat Best Man? 

I'd probably go for Rocket as he knows more about me than I know myself. Although the speech would probably go on too long and he'd ask the mother in law if she knew the mistakes she made in life. Thankfully he'd probably cut the speech short as he'd have to rush off to the cellar for 'feeding and servicing' time.

Maybe I'd pick someone else on reflection. 

Who would you pick?

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@Bluto10 organised a rip-roarer of a stag do as I recall.

At the wedding venue the night before the big day 😬

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42 minutes ago, Henry said:

@Bluto10 organised a rip-roarer of a stag do as I recall.

At the wedding venue the night before the big day 😬

H min. You need to be less predictable. You keep gettin things wrong

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5 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Henry’s stag do with his brothers got messy. Poor Aunt Bessie couldn’t walk for days.

How did her Yorkshire puddings survive 🤔🇨🇳

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11 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Henry’s stag do with his brothers got messy. Poor Aunt Bessie couldn’t walk for days.

Yeh, I bet she got a right roasting.

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5 hours ago, BrianFaePerth said:

Henry’s stag do with his brothers got messy. Poor Aunt Bessie couldn’t walk for days.

Neither could Fray Bentos 

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15 hours ago, Zeus said:

Keyworking from the office - the pandemic is over 

 

Seems to be. Traveling by to the middle of the desert for the first time since Feb 2020. 

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19 hours ago, Zeus said:

Keyworking from the office - the pandemic is over 

 

Been in the office 3 weeks now, 2 days a week. Its absolutey deid and the drive in is a dream. 

You back full time Zeus min?

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2 hours ago, dazzy_deff said:

Been in the office 3 weeks now, 2 days a week. Its absolutey deid and the drive in is a dream. 

You back full time Zeus min?

2/3 days a week for the foreseeable. Seems to be quite common from what I've heard? 

It's actually OK being back in, didnt miss commute and getting the kids into club/nursery for 7.30 like. 

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24 minutes ago, Zeus said:

2/3 days a week for the foreseeable. Seems to be quite common from what I've heard? 

It's actually OK being back in, didnt miss commute and getting the kids into club/nursery for 7.30 like. 

OK? You were moaning like fuck about home schooling. 

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25 minutes ago, Redforever86 said:

OK? You were moaning like fuck about home schooling. 

Zeus moaning like fuck? Away!! 

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