Bad_Mobby 4,475 Posted October 5, 2021 9 hours ago, Bad_Mobby said: Take a shit in a champagne glass Then stand up to wipe your arse (then glass the bride) Love Elton John Share this post Link to post
styrofoamplates 417 Posted October 5, 2021 5 hours ago, Poodler said: The one and only time I did one of those speeches, ironically I was categorically told no lines until after the meal/ speeches. I was rubbish at it. A jittery wreck. I Ken id have been better in full on bing bong mode, could’ve taken the mic for a walk Marti Pellow style. then held up the first dance due to being in a cubicle with a man who’s since done away with himself and a bridesmaid Don’t mention ex girlfriends is my advice. Parky has the right idea - getting it vetted. I let someone see mine on the eve of the wedding and it was all scored oot. Shame Murder suicide? Share this post Link to post
cheesepipes 4,406 Posted October 5, 2021 My mate Styles mentioned something about all women being bitches or whores at a lovely sunny wedding at Pittodrie House Hotel. He got the cocaine fuelled table of arseholes in hysterics if anything. Share this post Link to post
Zeus 1,384 Posted October 5, 2021 11 hours ago, Hagi's pubic hair said: Pissing myself at the Facebook fuckup, they sent out an update that bricked all their routers lol, so they have no access remotely to run a fix on thousands of routers worldwide, and to top it off, this update has also screwed the access to the buildings, just epic stuff. They could be down for a good few more hours. 2 Share this post Link to post
Redforever86 1,694 Posted October 5, 2021 44 minutes ago, cheesepipes said: My mate Styles mentioned something about all women being bitches or whores at a lovely sunny wedding at Pittodrie House Hotel. He got the cocaine fuelled table of arseholes in hysterics if anything. A. Styles? Share this post Link to post
Bad_Mobby 4,475 Posted October 5, 2021 1 minute ago, Redforever86 said: A. Styles? H Share this post Link to post
Henry 4,791 Posted October 5, 2021 12 hours ago, Parklife said: I prepared it a bit and let a few folk who weren't going to the wedding read it over before. Their praise of it gave me a bit more confidence that what I'd written was good. #humblebrag Share this post Link to post
Parklife 979 Posted October 5, 2021 12 minutes ago, Henry said: #humblebrag It's all a lie anyway, according to @rocket_scientist Share this post Link to post
Sooper-hanz 2,081 Posted October 5, 2021 Think Parky emailed me a draft of it iirc. Needed a wee bit of editing but was generally very good . I advised him to leave out the ‘rap’ at the end though. Share this post Link to post
cheesepipes 4,406 Posted October 5, 2021 Just Styles...... No initial. A wild man and amateur arsonist and pyrotechnics enthusiast in his youth. Share this post Link to post
Bluto10 1,709 Posted October 5, 2021 usually do card read outs from the local school nonce at the crews weddins Share this post Link to post
Zeus 1,384 Posted October 5, 2021 Keyworking from the office - the pandemic is over Share this post Link to post
styrofoamplates 417 Posted October 5, 2021 Who would you have as your Hat Best Man? I'd probably go for Rocket as he knows more about me than I know myself. Although the speech would probably go on too long and he'd ask the mother in law if she knew the mistakes she made in life. Thankfully he'd probably cut the speech short as he'd have to rush off to the cellar for 'feeding and servicing' time. Maybe I'd pick someone else on reflection. Who would you pick? Share this post Link to post
Henry 4,791 Posted October 5, 2021 @Bluto10 organised a rip-roarer of a stag do as I recall. At the wedding venue the night before the big day Share this post Link to post
Bluto10 1,709 Posted October 5, 2021 42 minutes ago, Henry said: @Bluto10 organised a rip-roarer of a stag do as I recall. At the wedding venue the night before the big day H min. You need to be less predictable. You keep gettin things wrong Share this post Link to post
BrianFaePerth 2,537 Posted October 5, 2021 Henry’s stag do with his brothers got messy. Poor Aunt Bessie couldn’t walk for days. Share this post Link to post
Misers Hill 356 Posted October 5, 2021 5 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said: Henry’s stag do with his brothers got messy. Poor Aunt Bessie couldn’t walk for days. How did her Yorkshire puddings survive Share this post Link to post
Ohjimmyjimmy 822 Posted October 5, 2021 11 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said: Henry’s stag do with his brothers got messy. Poor Aunt Bessie couldn’t walk for days. Yeh, I bet she got a right roasting. Share this post Link to post
Bad_Mobby 4,475 Posted October 6, 2021 5 hours ago, BrianFaePerth said: Henry’s stag do with his brothers got messy. Poor Aunt Bessie couldn’t walk for days. Neither could Fray Bentos Share this post Link to post
Quagmire 531 Posted October 6, 2021 15 hours ago, Zeus said: Keyworking from the office - the pandemic is over Seems to be. Traveling by to the middle of the desert for the first time since Feb 2020. Share this post Link to post
dazzy_deff 1,120 Posted October 6, 2021 19 hours ago, Zeus said: Keyworking from the office - the pandemic is over Been in the office 3 weeks now, 2 days a week. Its absolutey deid and the drive in is a dream. You back full time Zeus min? Share this post Link to post
Parklife 979 Posted October 6, 2021 I've been working from office/site all through the pandemic @manboobs109 Share this post Link to post
Sooper-hanz 2,081 Posted October 6, 2021 Same.Guess Im fortunate that way. All good Share this post Link to post
Zeus 1,384 Posted October 6, 2021 2 hours ago, dazzy_deff said: Been in the office 3 weeks now, 2 days a week. Its absolutey deid and the drive in is a dream. You back full time Zeus min? 2/3 days a week for the foreseeable. Seems to be quite common from what I've heard? It's actually OK being back in, didnt miss commute and getting the kids into club/nursery for 7.30 like. Share this post Link to post
Redforever86 1,694 Posted October 6, 2021 24 minutes ago, Zeus said: 2/3 days a week for the foreseeable. Seems to be quite common from what I've heard? It's actually OK being back in, didnt miss commute and getting the kids into club/nursery for 7.30 like. OK? You were moaning like fuck about home schooling. Share this post Link to post
Parklife 979 Posted October 6, 2021 25 minutes ago, Redforever86 said: OK? You were moaning like fuck about home schooling. Zeus moaning like fuck? Away!! Share this post Link to post