Things you find funny that you shouldn't

[Guest Grays Babylon 1875]

4 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

It's not like I was producing the stuff... you start off watching Winnie the Pooh clips, you end up going down a rabbit hole and find yourself watching dugs get bonked on the conk for the Thai restaurant industry. I have no guilt about informing myself on what goes on in those shady parts of the world where dog is considered snack food. 

I have even less guilt about imagining myself battering Asians dog-killers to death and shagging their willing women in a victory parade down Pyongyang's main street. 

 

 

Brilliant words.  ?

Those meninas are too pale and waif like though. 

Gimme a fat black bitch with a tennis racket every time. 

[Poodler]

5 minutes ago, CCB III said:

when you see human shit where there shouldn't be human shit 

That’s a good one 

always funny. 

[Guest milne_afc]

I’ve had to shit outdoors a few times in my lifetime. Nearly always lay a thing that would never flush in an indoor toilet pot anyway - maybe something to do with the adaptive crouching position? Makes me laugh when you know someone is going to look at the incredible log of destiny at some point.

[CCB III]

2 minutes ago, milne_afc said:

I’ve had to shit outdoors a few times in my lifetime. Nearly always lay a thing that would never flush in an indoor toilet pot anyway - maybe something to do with the adaptive crouching position? Makes me laugh when you know someone is going to look at the incredible log of destiny at some point.

Yeah. Had to do one in Dundee city centre a few years ago. Was dire.

 

Felt a bit guilty at the poor bugger who'd have had to clean it up, but then giggled at the thought of the folk coming up the lane as I sprinted away. 

[CCB III]

4 minutes ago, Sooper-hanz said:

My old gran slipping on ice walking down a slope .My mum rattled my head I was laughing so much and was raging with me.

Found out later she’d broken her wrist.

 

 

??????

Hahaha

 

My sister told me a story about my Grandmother decking it running for a bus after a day out with her, and a few glasses of red. 

Still makes me chuckle if the mental image comes into my mind. 
 

Nothing funnier than folk falling. No exceptions 

[Redforever86]

https://mobile.twitter.com/TheDeadDistrict/status/1540777038105088001

[BrianFaePerth]

Back when eh was 16 eh spent the summer working at my Dad’s office (taxi company obviously)

We had a dog who went with my dad to work every day and slept in the car while he was in the office working.

The dog was an utter racist, absolutely hated black people. There’s a whole back story to that.

Anyways my Dad hired a black guy a few weeks previous to this event. Absolutely top guy, knew his shit and was fitting in well in the office.

My dad, somehow forgetting his dog was an utter racist invited me and him out for a burger one lunchtime. Eh got in the back of the car next to my dog, while my Dads new employee got in the passenger side.

My dog leaped forward between the two front seats and angrily pissed all over the guy and his suit.

The boy was understandably shocked, eh could see my dad thinking “oh yeah forgot the dog was a racist” and me sitting in the back collapsed in laughter. It was fuckin hilarious.

Never did get that burger.

[maryhilldon]

^ Never happened 

[BrianFaePerth]

12 minutes ago, maryhilldon said:

^ Never happened 

100% did

[Awayfromhomered]

11 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

Had a mad fit of giggles at my grandpa’s funeral because the crematorium guy had a speech impediment ( a stutter). My wee brother had met the guy with my mum days before and described the way he talked as like Arkwright in Open all Hours.

He had built it up for a couple of days doing impersonations so when the guy actually started talking “G g g g g g good afternoon  “ I was gone.  
????
 

 

Hahaha! You never stood a chance

[BrianFaePerth]

1 hour ago, Sooper-hanz said:

? What’s the back story? 

We moved from Scotland to Canada a couple years prior. Our neighbour made the dog a cage for transporting him to Canada. The little bastard was doped up, but still managed to tear down the metal mesh netting (poor choice in restrospect) and escape his cage.

The story we got on arrival in Toronto was that the baggage handlers opened the hold to see this dog staring at them. They then chased him everywhere around the plane. Said baggage handlers were of the ethnic persuasion and our dog was a total racist thereafter.

[The Boofon]

Yeah that didn’t happen either. 
 

You really are a hopeless prick Brian. 

[BrianFaePerth]

@maryhilldon right then marydoll, still think my story is shite, that eh would invent an elaborate back story just to keep the hat amused?

 

Prick

[BrianFaePerth]

@The Boofon See above too

 

Prick

[The Boofon]

2 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

@maryhilldon right then marydoll, still think my story is shite, that eh would invent an elaborate back story just to keep the hat amused?

 

Prick

Yes. 

[BrianFaePerth]

Stop embarrassing yourself and stick to what you know best -masturbating in public toilets 

[BrianFaePerth]

Eh shouldn’t find such a sad picture funny, but eh do

[Redforever86]

Time for a break Bri. 

[CCB III]

27 minutes ago, BrianFaePerth said:

@maryhilldon right then marydoll, still think my story is shite, that eh would invent an elaborate back story just to keep the hat amused?

 

Prick

Even if you have done that, it's still a funny story. 
 

And it is amusing. 
 

So crack on. 

[Redforever86]

12 minutes ago, Captain Caveman said:

Doesn't even support the Dons.

There's a photo of you 3 posts up looking like the Michelin man just stepped out the shower with a towel covering his pert wee titties, so I'd just keep my heid doon if I wis you. 

 

[BrianFaePerth]

German Lizzaraga = Mobby 

[BrianFaePerth]

Julie knows her future financial security depends on the DWT coming in

[Dad]

Good timing then ?

[Bluto10]

2 hours ago, Captain Caveman said:

Bad angle that RF 

2.35:1  needed to fit you in

#sumo

[Guest Grays Babylon 1875]

Old men getting tackled by the police at abortion protests.   7 views now. 

I'm just watching. 

[1903Fitba]

Posters like RedJohn and Shoofta make me laugh when I know I shouldn’t. 
 

Complete lunatics but wind up people more than they should. 

[CCB III]

4 minutes ago, 1903Fitba said:

Posters like RedJohn and Shoofta make me laugh when I know I shouldn’t. 
 

Complete lunatics but wind up people more than they should. 

Red John has a Twitter. 
 

Looks glaikit as fuck in his DP. 
 

Made me crease 

[Ke1t]

3 hours ago, Sooper-hanz said:

What sort of noises do you reckon John is making there? 

[1903Fitba]

4 minutes ago, CCB III said:

Red John has a Twitter. 
 

Looks glaikit as fuck in his DP. 
 

Made me crease 

Link me. 
 

I miss the daft cunt

[Redforever86]

9 minutes ago, Ke1t said:

What sort of noises do you reckon John is making there? 

He’s just thankful abortion is illegal so her father will force her tae marry him.